Self-Harming Heroine - Chapter 14

Bunny Girl.

The official name for it is Playboy Bunny.

First introduced by the American adult magazine company Playboy, it was a costume that received much interest and admiration for decades.

That’s all I knew about Bunny Girls.

I had no idea how Bunny Girls came to exist here, in a place that isn’t Earth, let alone America. Honestly, I didn’t really care. Human desires are pretty much the same everywhere, even transcending universal barriers.

The spring weather was warmer unlike winter, but the chill hadn’t fully disappeared.

It was past 3 A.M. now. Going out dressed in something this thin, I was bound to feel the cold.

But right now, the reason I wrapped the trench coat tightly around myself wasn’t because of the cold.

It was because of the risqué Bunny Girl outfit underneath.

Hesitantly, I crossed my arms over my chest.

Ugh, I should’ve been more thorough. I shouldn’t have just taken my measurements roughly and bought it—I should’ve tried it on and checked if it fits properly.

It feels too tight… but as long as I can wear it, it shouldn’t be an issue.

Golden hair glistened, with bunny ears perked up on a headband above.

Every careful step I took made the ears sway slightly, like real rabbit ears.

Below my head, a ribboned neck choker wrapped around my throat.

I wore it only because I recalled the time when I ‘accidentally’ got caught in a noose, and my heart started pounding.

The black leotard that tightened around my waist like a corset, had no shoulder straps and barely covered my hips.

My chest felt like it might pop out with just the tiniest of movement, so my steps were naturally filled with hesitation.

White cuffs contrasted with black on my wrists, and my legs were clad in sheer fishnet stockings that openly highlighted my curves.

My first pair of high heels clicked with each step, and I wasn’t used to them. It felt like standing on tiptoe.

The round, white bunny tail was attached slightly above my hips around my waist and kept brushing against my butt.

Is Lucia’s butt just that big, or is the bunny tail just that large?

Or maybe it’s just the outfit and high heels making me sway as I walk?

Hmm, I’m not sure.

Since it’s not too uncomfortable, I’ll try not to think about it.

I kept my steps as quiet as possible.

The heels’ clicking sounded loud, it could probably be heard from a distance.

Ha, haha… that won’t do.

My current appearance…

No one can see me like this. Absolutely, no one.

The academy’s grounds are vast.

It’s enormous compared to the number of enrolled students. Not even a renowned university campus would come close to this.

Because of its size, the academy’s grounds are home to many facilities.

The garden with a pond that I was nervously walking through was one of them.

Calling it a garden doesn’t quite fit, though—it’s closer to a park in size.

Compared to the public park I’d visited in the heart of the city earlier that day, it was smaller, but still remarkably large for a school-affiliated space.

Because the academy receives massive support at a national level, it can afford such extravagance.

It was lavishly decorated under the pretense of promoting students’ psychological well-being, installed with fountains that shoot up several meters high, like something you’d see in a theme park.

During the day, there’s a lot of foot traffic with students around, but at this hour, it was hard to find any sign of life.

I was the only presence here.

Click.

I tried to be careful, but the sound of my heels echoed again.

A chill ran down my spine.

The blowing wind carried the sharp sound of my footsteps far into the distance.

My heart was pounding.

I crept slowly, like a turtle, and finally reached the fountain at the center of the garden.

A warm breath escaped my lips, and a cloud of white fog rolled out like dry ice.

I stiffly moved my head.

I looked around, ears tuned to any sound.

There was no one.

Only the silence and stillness, devoid even of insect sounds, welcomed me.

I’d been nervous, wondering if there might be students sneaking around for a secret meeting, but unfortunately, there were none.

Ah—I mean, thankfully, not unfortunately.

I must be too tense.

I’m even tripping over my own words.

Hmph.

Even when knowing this, I can’t afford to let my guard down.

Because all it takes is one witness to ruin my life at the academy.

Like the bunny ears perched above my head, I kept my senses sharp.

My heart pounded with the suspense of not knowing when someone might show up.

It wasn’t only people I had to worry about. This world has CCTVs, too.

Although it’s not as advanced as in my original world, and the academy, being a top-tier facility for training supernaturals, only has a few cameras, they still exist.

I’d already mapped out their locations.

But there’s always a chance that I missed one. There could be a CCTV that I didn’t find.

Maybe I’ve already been caught. Someone could be watching me.

“Ugh…”

Just thinking about it made my heart sink.

The corners of my mouth quivered.

I took a deep breath in, then out.

My chest tingles.

It felt like insects were crawling under my skin.

“Haa…”

Swish.

The trench coat slid off.

A chilly breeze brushed against my exposed skin.

Was I shivering because of the cold?

Yes, it must be that.

With the coat off, my body was fully exposed.

From a suspicious person in a trench coat with bunny ears, I transformed into a risqué Bunny Girl.

I wonder which one is more suspicious?

The tight leotard clearly emphasized Lucia’s generous body curves.

I hunched slightly, pressing down on my chest which felt uncomfortably tight.

Ah…

This is more…

Embarrassing… than I thought…

If someone saw me like this right now, what would they think?

They would think I’m a pervert… dressed as a Bunny Girl in the middle of the night.

But it’s still better than being completely naked, right?

Lucia crawled on all fours like a dog, completely naked with a collar around her neck, wagging her hips obscenely like a tail.

I’m different from Lucia.

I’m much more rational; I’m properly wearing clothes.

There might be a bit of exposure, and it’s somewhat suggestive… but, but I’m still wearing clothes!

See, I’m just doing some cosplay.

People who enjoy things like this would do what I’m doing, right? They’d put on a costume they like, take pictures outside, that kind of thing. Right? This is just an ordinary pastime.

Good. I feel a little less embarrassed now.

I straightened my back, lowering my arms that had been covering my chest.

Alright… What should I do now? I didn’t have anything in particular planned.

Maybe I’ll just wander around aimlessly like I did during the day, taking a stroll?

Yes, let’s do that. After all, I came out to feel the cool night breeze.

Click.

My heels echoed as I stepped into the dim light.

In the empty garden, as if putting on a show, I spread my arms wide.

The thumping of my heart grew louder. It felt like someone might jump out from the bushes at any moment. With each step I took, the tension intensified. I couldn’t see my own face, but it was probably flushed as red as a ripe apple.

“Hehe…”

Tingling.

The night breeze felt good. It was clearing my mind.

It felt like all the shackles binding me were falling away, giving me a sense of freedom.

Throbbing.

If my heartbeat quickens too much, it becomes painful.

I pressed my legs together, feeling a tingling in the backs of my knees.

“But… something’s missing…”

It feels refreshing, like when a collar squeezes my neck, but something still feels… 2% off. Something’s lacking, right? Hmm… a sense of liberation? Satisfaction? I’m not sure. The breeze was cool, and my pounding heart’s rhythm was lively like a melody. I felt good—definitely good, but…

I frowned. There was a tickling feeling. Like being brushed by a feather. What would Lucia do in a moment like this? She’d probably strip out of the Bunny Girl outfit and go completely naked, right? And then, like I mentioned before…

Ah.

“That’s right… I’m a Bunny right now…”

Rabbits don’t walk on two legs, do they?

They walk on all fours.

B-but if I did that, I’d be no different from Lucia. I became a Bunny Girl to… prove I’m different from her…

…No.

No.

I can’t misunderstand.

Right now, I’m just doing cosplay, aren’t I?

If I’m going to do it, I should do it properly.

There’s no other reason. It’s just… to get into character more accurately… Yes, that’s all it is.

I swallowed hard.

Gulp.

My throat trembled.

Despite the chilly air, my body was heating up.

My legs creaked as if they were rusted. I leaned my upper body forward, stiffly.

A strange sense of resistance welled up.

Bending my waist felt harder than usual.

The ground slowly came closer.

Slowly. Very slowly.

Was it the faint streetlight?

My field of vision gradually narrowed.

I felt a sense of aversion.

As if I was standing at the edge of a line I shouldn’t cross.

Forcing myself to push through, I stretched out my trembling arms.

My right hand touched the ground.

I shivered as my whole body jolted.

My fingers quivered as I shifted my weight onto my left hand.

“Ha… haha…”

A bead of sweat trickled down from my forehead along my jawline.

Unable to suppress a giggle, I shrugged my shoulders.

I moved my right hand.

Like a foot, my palm stepped forward.

Next was my right foot.

Then my left hand.

Finally, my left foot.

At this moment, my hands became my feet.

I walked on all fours.

“…Ha… hehe… heh…”

I walk.

Step by step.

I walked.

I stretch out my front limbs, followed by my back ones.

“Ah… ugh… aah…”

My hips swayed awkwardly. My arms wobbled, and my legs shook as if they’d been shocked.

Wearing high heels, and being human, I wasn’t made to walk on all fours. Humans evolved to walk upright, so trying to move on all fours felt undeniably strange.

But I didn’t stop.

I raised my head, looking ahead, and stretched out all four of my limbs.

“Ah…”

My trembling forearm gave out.

It wasn’t like I lacked strength as a supernatural.

My face scraped against the ground, and my chest was crushed.

A sharp pain pricked me.

The earthy smell invaded my nose.

I tried to stand, but my arms wouldn’t obey.

With my face buried in the ground, and my lower body stretched toward the sky, I muttered.

“I…”

What am I even doing?

This isn’t… this isn’t what I intended.

I only meant to take a short walk and go back… So why am I here, crawling on all fours? Like an animal. Like some kind of pervert. I’m not Lucia. I may be Lucia, but I’m not like her… I should be far more rational…

I can hardly control my own mind.

Lucia’s body, it’s overtaking my thoughts.

I brushed my head with my now filthy hands.

I removed the headband. What a fool I am. What kind of bunny is this?

Stop pretending to be clueless.

Stop denying it.

Think about what you’ve been doing for the past few days.

How are you any different from Lucia?

You’re just like Lucia.

You’re just a pervert like Lucia!

“No… I’m different… I’m… different…”

Calling it “training” while hurting myself.

Knowing everything, yet stubbornly denying it.

Now, here I am, dressed in this lewd outfit, crawling around on all fours.

I’m too pathetic to even laugh at myself.

Now I think I understand a bit. Lucia’s feelings.

The feeling of being so ashamed of yourself that you can’t bear it.

It’s time to stop running away from reality.

I am… I am…

“A pervert…”

Just like Lucia.

A wave of disgust washed over me.

I wanted to rip out my own hair in loathing.

My chest ached.

My heart was pounding more fiercely than ever.

It was throbbing like a derailed locomotive.

“…Heh.”

I parted my lips.

My pink tongue touched the ground.

“Hehe…”

I licked the ground as if I were lapping from a dish.

The taste of earth filled my mouth, and I couldn’t think straight.

“That’s right… I’m a pervert…”

A pervert so twisted that I got even more aroused by the self-disgust I felt.

It seems I was wrong before.

I’m not just a pervert like Lucia.

I’m a pervert even worse than Lucia.