From VTuber♂ to VTuber♀ - Chapter 20

—

Toya. (1)

There was a time when I dreamed of becoming a singer.
The songs on TV, the music on iTube—
Watching them made me want to be like that too.
I sang along, practiced, and truly enjoyed myself.

I wasn’t completely lacking in talent, so I pushed myself as hard as I could.
Someday, I’ll become a singer too.
I can do it. If I try hard enough, one day, surely—

“Thank you for listening!”

At first, I just started singing on the streets.
I’d open up a folding chair in a busy area and strum the acoustic guitar I bought with everything I had.
Singing song after song that people were likely to recognize.

In the beginning, no one stopped to listen.
But even a momentary pause from a passerby was enough to make me feel satisfied.
And as time went on, when I saw the number of people gathering slowly increase, my heart would race with excitement.

“Thank you again for listening today!”

That day was no different.
I sang in front of a small crowd of about ten, and after about an hour, I wrapped up with my usual thanks.
Thank you so much for coming today! Saying those words as I packed up, stretching out with a feeling of contentment.
Alright, time to head home.
That’s what I was thinking when—

“Um…”
“Yes?”
“Would you be interested in singing at our live house sometime?”
“…”

A chance came on a day I thought was just like any other.
A man approached me, offering a business card. I nodded half-dazed and shouted, Yes, I’ll sing, absolutely!

My heart thumped in my chest.
It’s not like I wasn’t putting my all into my street performances,
but just hearing the words live house made me want to sing even harder.
In a way, you could call it a debut.
It wasn’t a TV appearance or anything, but it was the first time I’d be singing on a proper stage.

“Haa…”

The days I spent performing at that live house were honestly… the happiest moments of my life.
I made money from performing, then spent that money again preparing for the next show.
Even if I barely broke even, just the feeling that I was inching closer to my dream was more than enough.
I couldn’t exactly call myself a professional singer,
but I could at least say, “I do small performances now and then~” with a little confidence.

But dreams are always blocked by the wall of reality.

“Don’t you think it’s time you got a real job?”
“How long do you plan on doing this without a college degree?”

“…”

The excuses of being young had long since worn out.
Isn’t it time you started working? You’re old enough now. You can’t just play around forever.
Words like that from my parents… it was only natural they would hurt.

I’m working hard for my dream, too. I’m not just playing around!
I wouldn’t exactly call it a fight, but that day was the first time I really talked back to my parents.
I knew it wasn’t the right thing to do,
but I couldn’t suppress the emotions boiling inside me.

“You look like you’ve got a lot on your mind.”
“…Yeah.”

Unable to bear the awkward atmosphere at home, I grabbed my guitar and ran straight to the live house.
I sighed and started speaking, haltingly, to the owner who gently approached me.
I told him everything—how my dream had finally collided with reality,
how I probably wouldn’t be able to come back to the live house anymore.

Maybe, deep down, I had already known.
That turning your passion into a profession is incredibly hard.
That dreams are called “dreams” because they’re meant to be unreachable.

“Honestly… I’m not sure I can really succeed as a singer.
I started this because I love it, but I don’t think I can make a living out of it.”
“…Hmm.”
“Coming here made me realize something—there are so many people in the world who sing really well.”

If someone asked whether I was more on the good-singing side or the bad-singing side, I would’ve confidently said I was one of the good ones.
If I’d thought I was bad, I probably would’ve declined the offer I got back then.
But just being good at singing wasn’t enough.
Even at the live house alone, there were so many people better than me.
And even they were stuck as just regular performers.

There was no way someone like me, who was even less skilled, could make it.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to come anymore, sir. Thank you for everything until now.”
“…Hmm. So what you want is a job where you can still earn money by singing, right? Hold on a sec.”

The owner, who had been silently looking at me, suddenly pulled out his phone and started making a call.

“Yeah, hey. Weren’t you looking for someone? Still haven’t found anyone? I figured. It’s a hard thing to explain to someone who doesn’t know about it. Uh-huh, yeah.”

From the way he was speaking casually, I assumed he was talking to a friend.
But the content of the conversation was far from casual—
“She’s a good kid, sings well, very persistent,” things like that.

Even though I was just sitting there, I felt like my entire profile was being laid bare to someone on the other end of the line.

“Her voice? Totally great—you know how picky I am, right? Hm? Is she good at talking? She’s not bad. Okay, I’ll talk to her and let you know. Got it, talk later.”
“…Sir?”
“It might be a bit unconventional, but there’s a job where you can make money singing. Have you heard of ‘Vtubers’?”
“Vtubers?”
“Yeah. A friend of mine got super into them and just straight up started a business. But the company only has three talents. Or two, since one ran away? Anyway, they’re short on people.”

I didn’t know much about it and wasn’t all that interested,
but I’d seen enough to get the gist—
people who stream while using animated characters.

Suddenly, a memory came back to me—
a video I’d seen in passing of a Vtuber singing.

I want to live while singing.

Was my dream to become a singer? Or did I just want to sing?

My thoughts were in a whirl.
The offer the owner gave me felt like a question he was throwing back at me.

“…Sir.”
“Yeah? What is it?”
“Could I… do one last performance? I’ll pay for—”
“You don’t have to worry about money. We don’t charge anyone for their final performance here.”
“…Thank you.”

After bowing my head, all that remained was the pressure of having to answer the question.

Do you want to become a singer, or do you just want to sing?

To answer that, I needed to be ready.
Prepared enough to say I’d put everything on the line.

—

“How is it? Do you like it? We tried to reflect the performer’s input as much as possible,
so if there’s anything you’d like to change, please let us know.”
“…I like it.”

The interview ended much faster than I expected.
After hearing my voice and talking a bit, the person just said, We’re looking forward to working with you, and that was that.
I stood there, stunned.

Did I… just join a weird company or something?

That thought crossed my mind only briefly.
Before I realized just how sincere the president was about this whole “Vtuber” thing.
Hiring someone like me, with zero streaming experience,
was no different from grabbing the sturdiest rope as you fell off a cliff.

“You’ve got a great voice, so I think you’ll pull off a cute character like this just fine.”

I looked at the rounded, cartoonish character design and gave a small nod.
I can do this.
Other people had often told me I had a nice voice—some even said it was cute.

Once the interview was over and I decided to become a Vtuber,
I focused entirely on preparing for my farewell performance.
Choosing songs, rearranging the order, practicing endlessly.
I spent nearly a month singing non-stop.

It felt like I was singing every song I’d ever want to sing in my life,
all in the lead-up to this one performance.

And then, on the day of the concert—

“It’s vocal cord nodules.
Have you been overusing your voice lately?”

I was at the hospital,
not the live house.

I’d lost the voice that meant everything to me.

—

[“Isn’t that new girl’s voice kind of weird?”]
[(Video: Yatogami Toya Speaking.MVI)]
[It’s not bad exactly, but it totally doesn’t match the character lol]
ㄴ [Totally agree, lmao]
ㄴ [When they revealed the design, I expected a cute moe voice, but it’s super husky lol]
ㄴ [Her voice cracks constantly when she talks—it’s annoying lol]
ㄴ [Her voice is weird.]
ㄴ [Bet she’ll graduate soon, too.]
ㄴ [That voice with that character model? Absolute disaster.]
ㄴ [Were they really that desperate for talent?]
ㄴ [One of the Vtubers ran away recently, so maybe it’s not surprising lol]
ㄴ [Honestly, even my little sister could do better than that lololol]
.
.
.

What am I supposed to do now?

That thought suddenly came to me.