From VTuber♂ to VTuber♀ - Chapter 21

—

Toya. (2)

After that, I lived without motivation.
When I was diagnosed with vocal nodules, I went straight to the manager and told him I wanted to quit.
But he said it was fine, that my voice wasn’t a problem.

I knew it was his way of being considerate.
Back then, the manager was too soft-hearted to cut ties cleanly—he couldn’t easily let go of someone, even when he should.

Your voice is weird.

Where did the original person go? lol

Feels like the original ran off and someone new took over lol

Please change the voice.

lol

lol

That kind of half-hearted kindness only acted like poison.
From the moment I debuted, malicious comments and toxic chat messages began to pile up.
Even if each was just a single line, they hurt more than enough.

My voice—
That was everything to me, someone who had once poured her soul into singing.

Yeah. Back then, I wasn’t really “being a Vtuber”—
I was just going through the motions, drifting through my streams.

“Today, I will get first place…!”

Area of Heroes.
A simple game where two players team up, choose heroes, and try to survive in an ever-shrinking battlefield.
I don’t quite remember why I started playing it—
Ah, right. A viewer probably recommended it to me.

Normally, I wouldn’t have touched a game like that.
But maybe I felt a connection to it, surviving until the end in a shrinking world—it mirrored my own situation.
So I clung to it.
There were even times when I streamed for 26 hours straight, trying to get first place.
Of course, I failed every single time.

First place? lololol

Toya just has the worst luck lol

Feels like today will end with another 3rd place finish

You can do it, Toya! lol

Still, you’ve gotten better with practice

I vote “impossible.”

Me too.

Everyone said it was impossible.
The random voice-related jabs still stung now and then,
but I endured it because there were fans who came for the fun of the stream itself, not my voice.

It’s okay. I’m getting better, bit by bit.

When I first debuted, it was not long after I developed vocal nodules,
so my voice had been really unstable.
Now, though, it had improved a lot and was much steadier.
Of course, I’d already been told I’d never fully regain my old voice,
so I’d long since given up on that hope.

“Ugh… Seriously?! If I’d just taken out one more person, I would’ve had it!”

So close!

Still, 2nd place!

Isn’t that Toya’s best record yet?

The terrain really screwed you over at the end.

If you’d swapped positions, Toya might’ve won.

What a shame.

Second place.
Still couldn’t reach that dream spot—first.

I let out a sigh and queued for another match.
Fifth place.
I told myself to focus and queued again.
Seventh.
I splashed cold water on my face, hoping to wake up.
Sixth.

The viewer comments, full of laughter, started to sound like mockery.
I averted my eyes from the chat window.

Maybe call it a day for now?

“…Should I?”

Dreams are called dreams because they’re unreachable.
I muttered back to the chat, seeing that comment.
It’s fine. I tried my best.
No one would blame me for giving up now.

The memory of that second-place round wouldn’t stop replaying in my head.
If only I had focused more.
If I had checked the surroundings better.
If I’d picked up one more smoke grenade.

…If only I hadn’t sung with everything I had.
It’s not like the farewell concert had a happy ending.
Maybe it would’ve been better if I hadn’t done it at all.

[¥10,000]

One last match, please.

“…Geez, really now.
I guess I have to try a little harder if I got a superchat.”

It was a match I started half out of obligation.
How would I place this time?
Probably dead last.

Honestly, I just wanted to end the stream and collapse into bed.
But I couldn’t ignore the generosity of a supporter.
That sense of responsibility moved my body.

And after a short wait—
My teammate had a username not in Korean or Japanese, but in English.

“Are they Japanese?”

Let’s talk to them.

They’ve got voice chat enabled, right?

Let’s talk.

If it’s a Korean, just say ‘Sumimasen’ and move on lol

Even Koreans understand ‘Sumimasen’ lol

Might as well, right?
In a game like this, it’s better to talk with your teammate.
I cleared my throat and swallowed.

Are they Japanese? Korean?
It’s the last match, I’d like to at least have a good one.

“Hello~”
“(Ah? Are you Japanese?)”
“…Eh?”

Korean lololol

Ahhhh it’s a Korean

This is doomed

Koreans’ tempo is impossible to match lol

They’ll probably get eliminated early anyway lololol

“(Fighting, fighting.)”
“F-fighting…”

They were willing to voice chat, at least.
But honestly, I didn’t expect much.
I’d run into Koreans in-game plenty of times before.

Still, I should try.
It’s the last match—I can’t end on a lame note.

“So, where should we land fir—”
“(Goko, goko.)”
“Eh? You speak Japanese?”
“(What did she say…? I really need to study Japanese one day.)”

Sounds like they only know a few words.

Better than nothing lol

Isn’t this the first time Toya found a foreigner she could kinda talk to?

Still don’t think they’ll win lol

Good luck, Toya!

After that, everything went… smoothly.
We landed safely, looted gear smoothly, won fights smoothly—
Wait, what? This game’s going way too smoothly.
Is this really my game?

“(Ue teki, ue teki!)”
“Got it, got it! Oh!”

[You are the final survivor! Congratulations!]

lololol

Toya-chan finally got 1st!

Congrats~

Congrats, Toya-chan~

I knew you could do it lol

That other player was really good

Their Japanese is awkward, but they’re great at the game lol

Finally, Toya can ascend…

lol

lol

The endless flood of congratulations and superchats didn’t matter—
All I could see was the word First Place on the screen.
It was burned into my eyes.

So it’s real? I really got 1st?

I stared at the screen blankly, then quickly moved my mouse.

Friend. Add friend!

It wasn’t strictly necessary to go this far for someone I met in a game,
but they were the one who finally helped me end a month-long losing streak.
I couldn’t let them go.

“Please, please, please…”

[Friend request accepted.]

“Yes!!”

When the notification popped up a moment later, I clapped my hands together.
I don’t know, but… don’t we just click somehow?
I feel like we could win more games today!

Originally, this was supposed to be my last match,
but now that I’d won, I didn’t want to stop.
If they were up for it, I definitely wanted to keep going together.

“Okay, let’s see… how do I say ‘Want to play together?’ in Korean… Ah, here!”

[게임 같이 해요.] (Let’s play together.)
[ok]

“I did it…!”

Didn’t Toya say she was going to stop?

Toya’s trying to play with a Korean now…

Well, it is the person who helped her get 1st, so maybe it’s fine lol

At this rate, Toya might keep winning lol

She’s grown so much lololol

Anyway, if we’re going to keep playing, I should probably add them on DigiCord too.
The in-game voice chat wasn’t bad,
but it still wasn’t as clear as a dedicated voice app.

[digicord id plz]
[onesummer#3199]

The reply came super fast.
As expected of Korea, the land of speed!

I felt my heart flutter with excitement at the thought of playing more together.
I’m going to win again.
I’ll make up for every near-miss in all the games I’ve played up until now!

Ding—Ding—
[You’ve got a call from Han Yeo-reum!]

“Why am I so nervous?
We literally just talked and played together a minute ago…”

I feel like my horns are gonna fall off…

But this is the person who saved Toya from never getting 1st lol

They’re a foreigner, so who cares if your horns fall off? It doesn’t matter!

Let’s keep going, Toya-chan lol

Why does picking up a call make my heart race like this?
I let out a small breath and pressed the Accept Call button.

“H-hello?”
“(Ah, moshi moshi… Uh, um… what did I want to say again? Was it this one?)”
“…Eh?”

Awkward Japanese, followed by Korean.
I couldn’t understand it,
but I could tell—this person had prepared something.

Had they gone out of their way to get ready for this?

Just as I tilted my head in curiosity, a soft, clumsy voice came through in Japanese.

“You have a… lovely voice.”

Words I could never forget.
Words that saved me.