I Don’t Want to Play Villains Anymore - Chapter 18
A Doll-like Child
After receiving makeup, I slowly walked to the mirror.
Hiding my brilliant silver hair under a black wig, I put on black eyelashes.
Different from usual, but I feel I have a different charm.
“Who is Ral?”
Ah, do you still not know?
The representative of abundant joy, a man colder than our home refrigerator who would make one feel miserable if compared, my dad, Baek Geon-hwan.
An actor who moved the heart of such a man.
“Haneul, you are truly an amazing child.”
“Eh? Did you just compliment me?!”
Mom was shocked since that day and has been keeping that video stored and watching it repeatedly.
Such an event is that rare. My dad’s compliments.
But who is Ral?
The acting genius recognized by Baek Geon-hwan himself.
With just one scene, he can overturn the set and explode emotions accumulated over decades despite living only five years.
Directors, staff, and fellow actors all recommend Ral’s acting.
“Hehe…”
I, Baek Ha-neul.
I’m not just a cute child actor.
I’m not someone who only garners popularity by having sparkling eyes.
I am an actor who overwhelms the scene with acting, emotions, and a single glance.
Sometimes even adult actors can’t hide their embarrassment.
When Ral seizes emotions in an instant, they might find it hard to keep up.
In fact, even adults approach me to get acting advice.
In short, what’s inside Ral is not just a simple ‘child actor.’
I am…
The memory of living through countless past experiences.
Dozens of stage experiences forged through tears and sighs.
And above all, someone with a philosophy of ‘what true acting is’…
Baek Ha-neul.
For now, I am five years old.
But more serious about the stage than anyone else,
A name that will go down in the history of the acting world for decades to come.
Yes, Ral is…
The genius of acting recognized by Baek Geon-hwan.
The one who can read profound emotions and cause applause, the destroyer of emotions.
“Baek Ha…”
The moment I murmured the illustrious name.
“Dhumbae. What are you doing?”
The familiar Shin Sound poked me from behind.
“Ugh.”
That was exactly the sound that came from Ral’s mouth.
A moment when Dhumbae’s dignity was rising.
Thud.
The ‘serious note prepared with Dhumbae’s sincerity’ held in Ral’s hand fell to the floor, tracing a curve in the air.
“Wh…who…”
“Who else would call Dhumbae by that name if not me?”
It was Na Jae-hyeon.
No, to be precise, it was Na Jae-hyeon who had just shown up suddenly from behind during rehearsal, throwing Ral’s concentration into disarray.
‘Is it already over…?’
I hurriedly picked up the notebook and tried to act as if nothing was wrong.
“Uh… I was just trying to get into the acting… catching the emotion.”
“They say you were acting really cool, huh? Like ‘even the profound would be moved and applaud’… something like that?”
“…Did you hear that?”
Jae-hyeon nodded, looking at me as if I were a rare animal with a half amused expression.
In his eyes, there was surprise, embarrassment, a hint of respect… and a natural, cheeky smile that only someone like Buram could make.
“Dumbae, are you perhaps the type to recite about yourself every morning? Like ‘I am great. I am the destroyer of the profound’?”
“No, I am not?!”
As Ral hid the note behind him, Jae-hyeon added with a teasing tone.
“That’s okay, you’re Dhumbae after all.”
“Don’t say such things! That tone! You’re trying to tease me!”
Jae-hyeon chuckled and crossed his arms.
“Soon enough, ‘the destroyer of the profound’ huh?”
“Haha… Alright, I will make that beloved face of yours a disaster…”
“Kwank, kwank. Haneul’s here. Jae-hyeon, both of you stop.”
A heavy, thunderous, yet somehow familiar voice of annoyance and resignation cut through the rehearsal.
It was Director Yoon Seok-won.
I stopped my hand, which was about to grasp Jae-hyeon’s collar, and Jae-hyeon froze halfway through folding his legs to escape.
The surrounding staff were all pursing their lips tightly.
Among them, the assistant director seemed to openly express, ‘Oh, he’s at it again.’
‘He has been joking a lot lately…’
It was about time for a reprimand.
Director Yoon slowly approached, crossed his arms, and slightly lowered himself to our eye level.
“Now, what is going on here?”
“…It was a joke.”
“…It was a joke.”
Jae-hyeon and I spoke almost simultaneously.
The director’s eyebrows lifted slightly.
“I like jokes. But what were you about to say, Haneul? That you were going to make that face a disaster?”
“…Yes. Just a bit?”
“…In what sense?”
I hesitated, then half-closed my eyes and gave a serious expression.
“It’s an artistic metaphor. Just like how the great Michelangelo worked with marble.”
“So, you are the Michelangelo, and Jae-hyeon is the marble?”
“…Buram is originally very solid, you know.”
Director Yoon kept silence for a moment at that answer, then pressed his temple with his hand.
‘Is this kid going to pull his punches soon?’ was conveyed through that only.
He must have been an actor before becoming a director.
“Haneul. Just how old are you again?”
“Five years old.”
“Are you saying that a five-year-old is referencing Michelangelo and talking about ‘artistic metaphor’ while making a colleague feel bad?”
“Director, kids these days are fast learners.”
The director stared into space for a moment, then sighed deeply and turned around.
Just as he took a step or two, he turned back.
“Jae-hyeon. Try to defend yourself.”
“…I will plead guilty to acting.”
“Exactly.”
Phew…!
Has there ever been such a perfect answer…!?
“…Today, Gineul doesn’t seem to be in good spirits.”
A little girl with curly hair following me and tilting her head.
Her pigtails tied with pink hair ties swaying, looking somewhat like a delicate antenna.
She was the only one I could call a ‘normal friend’ in this life, Lee Su-a.
“Oh, Su-a.”
I replied as nonchalantly as possible, but the feelings clinging to my sentences were not as firmly suppressed as usual.
Even though I am a veteran actor, showing subtle emotions on my face like this… Is my training still insufficient?
“Looks like you really aren’t feeling well.”
“How did you know?”
With just that short sentence, Su-a realized.
‘Sura may not be an actor, but she is exceptionally sensitive to emotions.’
Was it since yesterday? This child unusually reacts sensitively to my mood.
Without any hesitation, she approaches, unafraid of the gaze that would terrify children her age, and offers words of kindness.
It’s not unpleasant at all.
Actually, it feels good. She is the only one besides family with whom I can make eye contact.
“What happened?”
“Yeah.”
“Did someone bully Haneul?”
At that, I shook my head.
Who would bully me? That’s the funniest thing ever.
On the contrary, I can shake the hearts of adults with just my acting.
“Not that, something happened at the filming location yesterday.”
“At the filming location?”
Su-a’s eyes sparkled.
‘It’s so easy to understand.’
I feel every time, but could it be that Su-a is an embodiment of innocence?
Just the word ‘filming location’ makes her eyes light up with excitement.
But I sighed deeply.
“Do you remember Na Jae-hyeon among the kids who were auditioning?”
“Na Jae-hyeon? Yes, the tall, cool boy? He was an actor too, right?”
Ugh.
It’s objectively accurate, but for some reason, it sends chills down my spine.
I had to cover the goosebumps that had popped up on my arms.
“Yeah. We got into a playful fight. I was the only one who got scolded.”
“What? It wasn’t a mistake you had together?”
“Jae-hyeon is good with words… So he managed to deflect with a clever remark in front of the director and laughed it off. But me…”
“You got serious, huh?”
Phew.
I got caught.
“…How did you know?”
“Haneul’s serious face is the default setting. Sometimes your speech is scary.”
I sealed my lips tight.
Was it that face that brought me into this situation?
Since childhood, I had trained myself to be strong in acting, so I’ve lived with the phrase ‘you look unwell if you don’t smile.’
Because it’s low in a way that makes it sound firm.
So even if it’s unfair… It’s hard to express that I am feeling wronged, that kind of fate.
“So I felt a bit unfair. I was just being serious, but it made me seem like the one who spoiled everything.”
“…Hmm.”
Su-a tilted her head for a moment and stared at me intensely.
“Then, Haneul wasn’t really saying it because you were in a bad mood?”
“Yeah. I just explained the situation, but the director thought I was trying to provoke.”
Su-a seemed to be holding something back, biting her lip, then raised her small hand.
“Then! Next time I will teach Ral how to act!”
“You?”
Ah, it’s not that I have a bias against normals teaching acting.
But Su-a seems far removed from emotional control…
“Yes! I may not be an acting expert, but I know well how to look ‘cute’!”
“I don’t play cute roles.”
“It’s okay. Haneul is cute even if he doesn’t try.”
Wow.
I felt like I was floating with that phrase.
‘Already developing skills to soothe adults…’
A five-year-old child speaks so prettily.
When she grows up, she will likely make the boys cry a bit.
Su-a casually blurted out that statement without a care and patted my shoulder.
“So smile now. If you smile, you’ll be cute. When I see you smile, my mood gets better.”
I blinked my eyes.
Somehow, it felt like hearing something I had never heard before in my childhood in this very moment.
Cute?
I was an actor and had received countless compliments…
But those were always related to acting, skill, and direction.
Yet now, this child is saying that about me just as I am.
“If I smile, I’m cute?”
I can’t believe it.
“Yes.”
“Then shall I try smiling now?”
I slightly lifted the corners of my mouth.
Su-a saw that and suddenly jumped up, cheering.
“Got it! You look cute!”
“Stop it.”
For some reason, I felt embarrassed.
“Seriously! You got cute! It’s Haneul’s smiling face that only I know~!”
Su-a was in a hurry, waving her hands.
I instinctively covered my face with my hands.
The real destroyer of emotions was someone else…
“Th… that’s enough…”
My face had turned bright red by now.
‘This is too much.’
Somehow, it seems Su-a will make her debut in the entertainment industry.
If she’s such a cheerful and cute child, being an actor would be challenging…
“An idol?”
“Huh? Haneul, what did you say?”
What. Isn’t that too forced?
By the time we become high school students…
‘All day long.’
They’d probably be bustling about with that movie, which is acclaimed as a masterpiece that has crossed continents.