Self-Harming Heroine - Chapter 23

Turns out, it was anything but simple.

I seriously underestimated the difficulty of a midnight hike.

To avoid being seen, I skipped the hiking trail entirely. 

Sure, the odds of running into someone this late were slim, but here I am, hiking for my own dubious reasons, right? 

So I figured going off-trail would keep me out of sight. Yeah, not my best idea.

With overgrown vegetation everywhere, it was hard to walk. 

I tripped over exposed roots, sunk into hidden dips, and fell more times than I could count. I slipped on rocks, leaves, and loose soil, and branches even scratched at my skin. 

At one point, I took a wrong step and went tumbling down a cliffside. If I wasn’t a supernatural, I would’ve at least broken a leg.

It didn’t help that it was pitch black out. I had a flashlight, but the battery was dying, making the light too dim. 

Trying to hike on a non-existent path with only a faint glow? It’s a miracle I made it even this far.

I rushed out without preparing enough, partly because hiking knowledge wasn’t something I had before or after becoming Lucia. 

I was way too confident in my enhanced abilities. Now I understand why people die in the mountains. Lucia’s durability saved me from having to wait for a rescue team.

And that wasn’t even the worst part.

The moment I started wandering around looking for a hardware store, I should’ve known—

I have absolutely no sense of direction.

On top of being off-trail, with low visibility and no navigation skills, I got completely lost.

Am I… just wandering in circles?

More than once, I thought, ‘Wait, didn’t I pass this valley already?’ Or maybe it just looked similar. 

After a while, I was covered in dust and dirt, looking like a rat that was dragged through the mud, still with no suitable burial spot in sight. 

I stared at it in despair, dawn broke over the eastern sky. This is not how it was supposed to go…

“Well, let’s head back. I’ve got classes to attend…”

I was so careless.

I acted on impulse without even preparing properly.

Sigh. 

Time to cool my head and rethink this from scratch.

Though frustrated by how much time I’d wasted, I decided to pick some mushrooms as souvenirs on the way down. There weren’t many noticeable ones, but I found a few. Some were white, others a bright red, types I’d never seen before. They were colorful and looked appetizing. I’ll try grilling them with some salt later. They’ll probably taste amazing… in various ways.

There were no signs of life when I snuck out before dawn, but by the time I got back to the dorms, quite a few students up were already for morning exercise. 

They’re so diligent, honestly. Then again, for the academy’s students, improving combat skills is everything. Consistent training is a must.

I tossed my bag on the floor, shoved my clothes in the washing machine, and then took a quick shower.

The bathroom still smells like blood. I hadn’t had time to clean it up properly before, and the metallic scent hit me the moment I stepped inside. I’ll need to do a full clean-up later… but that’ll have to wait.

What should I do with the mushrooms I picked? Will they spoil if I leave them out? Maybe I should put them in the fridge?

Eh, whatever. I’ll just leave them for now. They probably won’t spoil that quickly, right? Not that it matters. The only important thing about the mushrooms is… 

Oh no, look at the time!

Hurriedly, I started drying my hair and changing into my uniform.

My hair’s too long…

It’s taking forever to dry.

Oh no, I forgot my sports bra. Without it, it’s going to be a hassle later with all the bouncing.

But no time to worry now—there’s no time!

I finished my last-minute preparations and grabbed my bag just as I heard a knock on the door.

Phew, made it just in time.

I swung the door open, saying, “Good morning, Alice.”

“G-Good…morning…,” she stammered, blushing deeply.

Lately, Alice and I have been going to school together. It was her suggestion, actually.

She surprised me one morning while I was brushing my teeth. Her cheeks were so red, it was adorable. 

I’m sure Frey put her up to it—probably even suggested she invite me. Given Alice’s current emotional immaturity, she wouldn’t have come up with something so bold on her own.

Since then, it’s been an unspoken rule that we go to school together. Whoever finishes getting ready first goes and knocks on the other’s door.

That’s why I was rushing this morning—I wanted to be ready before Alice got here.

“All right, let’s go. I’m counting on you for today too.”

“Y-Yes!”

Her small, kitten-like movements made me smile.

I can see why Eugene is so attracted to her… But wait, could he be a lolicon?

Is it safe to trust her with him?

I know Eugene’s a good guy, but seeing Alice in person, and spending more time with her, it’s hard not to feel a bit worried.

Alice is still so young. She needs protection, someone not to be seen as some romantic interest.

And she even resembles Eugene’s younger sister. Is he a siscon1Japanese abbreviation for “sister complex”, which is a term used to describe a strong attachment or obsession to one’s sister or sisters too?

Well, actually, that part is true…

Oh well, let’s look on the bright side.

As long as they both genuinely love each other, that’s what matters.

After all, they’re destined to be together. This really isn’t something I should worry about.

Love is a powerful emotion. It can work miracles.

And if they don’t fall in love, we’re all in trouble. The world’s at stake. Really.

◈

During class, my thoughts drifted all over the place.

What should I do about the corpse(not really) in my bag?

If I don’t dispose of it properly, I could end up being mistaken for a dismembering murderer. I’d rather avoid any misunderstandings, but I haven’t come up with a good solution.

Reflecting on it with a clear mind, burying the parts on the mountain might not be the best idea.

When I went hiking in the early morning, I ran into some wild animals—even saw a wild boar. What if they smell the buried parts and dig them up? I can’t have my limbs(sort of) giving animals a taste for human flesh. I’m not looking for a horror movie plot where killer boars roam around.

And what if there’s a landslide due to a typhoon or heavy rain?

If my buried limbs got unearthed, that’d be a disaster.

And imagine if someone stumbled upon them…

A dismemberment case would cause a huge uproar. There’s probably DNA testing in this world too, right?

If they find out that those dismembered limbs are mine, I’ll be in big trouble. Just imagine trying to explain why I cut them off and buried them. What would I even say?

I mean, I could say something like, “I was training my regeneration abilities!”

But I really don’t want to draw that kind of attention. And I definitely don’t want anyone to find out that Lucia was a masochist. I’d rather not leave a single hint of that behind.

Only a few people, like Eugene, picked up on the true nature of Lucia in “The Dawn of the Sword”.

I don’t want anyone else to know my true tendencies—not until it’s the right time for them to find out.

I’ve already grown close to Alice a bit earlier than the original, so the storyline has shifted slightly, but my goal remains the same.

Follow the plot of the original as closely as possible, so that we reach a happy ending.

That’s been the plan all along.

So, I’ll avoid making any unnecessary variables.

Which means I can’t ask Alice for help.

Bam! A single, powerful blast! The unmatched firepower of a student of the top-tier Academy class!

She could easily erase my limbs without a trace!

But I can’t request her help because of Frey’s paranoid nature!

Alice might take my words at face value, but Frey wouldn’t, right?

Even so, there are plenty of others at the Academy with high firepower besides Alice or Eugene. The place is full of young supernatural, after all. 

There’s no shortage of people who can strike with lightning or cause explosions. But I can’t ask any of them for help either. I don’t want to leave any hints about Lucia’s abnormalities.

In the end, I have to handle this on my own.

I’m stumped without a decent solution.

Should I just mash the limbs into bits and feed them to the wild boars?

I could crush the bones completely so that no one could tell they were human limbs.

Then, they’d be digested in the boar’s stomach, leaving no trace.

Perfect evidence elimination.

Lucia’s limbs, nothing more than a meal for wild animals.

“…”

Don’t swallow that.

Don’t.

Gulp.

I swallowed.

Heh, but it’s kinda thrilling.

To be eaten alive…

Wait… hold on a sec.

Eaten? Digested?

…That’s not bad, actually.

What if… instead of a wild boar, I threw them to a monster?

There’s an upcoming field exercise soon.

If a monster devours the dismembered limbs during that, wouldn’t that be complete and certain evidence disposal?

It started as a joke, but it might actually work.

I’d keep them in my bag and just toss the whole thing. No way the monster would unzip the bag, inspect the contents, and then eat it, right?

The problem is the time between now and the field exercise; by then, the limbs might start rotting and reek terribly…

Could I just keep them in the refrigerator? No, that’s kind of creepy, right? Open the fridge and suddenly—

Bam!

—arms and legs? Ugh, what is this, a grotesque murder scene?

Other preservation options… Yeah, there’s a way.

It’s a bit crude, though.