From VTuber♂ to VTuber♀ - Chapter 39

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Nice to Meet You. (3)

One thing I realized while living with Yeoreum is that… she really doesn’t like looking in mirrors.

It’s not that she hates it exactly—it’s more like something in between, definitely not fond of it.

I still remember that strange look on her face when I showed her a mirror once.

At first, I thought maybe she just hadn’t gotten used to her changed appearance yet—
But no, it was more like she simply didn’t like it.

That expression she made when she looked at herself…
It was the same face a child makes when looking at food they don’t want to eat.

Of course, I don’t mean Yeoreum’s a child—it just felt that way.

It wasn’t an idea I had from the beginning.

It came to me while wondering if maybe, just maybe, she could get used to seeing herself if she used an avatar that looked like her.

“Hey, Yeoreum~”

“Hey, Toya.”

“You’re in here again, huh? What, do you like it that much?”

Turns out, it worked better than I expected.

Ever since she started using the avatar that looks just like her, Yeoreum had taken to spending time in the streaming room—turning on the model and moving around, almost like a hobby.

Well, I guess you could call it a hobby.
She seemed to enjoy it, so maybe it was.

Today, like always, Yeoreum was in the studio with the avatar on, moving her body this way and that.

“Yeah, I really like it.”

I let out a little sigh at the sight of her smiling at me so brightly.

Does she even know how she looks when she does that?

I’d asked her once before—she said she knew she looked cute, but it didn’t really feel that way to her.

I think she mentioned not liking the hair or eye color.
Said it felt too unrealistic, hard to feel attached to.

“The person who made the avatar said you’re welcome to use it however much you want. Actually, they said it would be an honor if you did.”

“Eh, you’re lying.”

“I’m not lying. Look, see?”

“…It’s true.”

I showed Yeoreum the messages I exchanged with Ragu-sensei, and she finally believed me.

If I were Ragu-sensei and someone like Yeoreum wanted to use one of my avatars, I’d probably say the same thing.

As I gently patted the top of her head with a soft “yoshi yoshi,” the avatar on screen blushed shyly.

Meanwhile, Yeoreum’s actual face remained pale as ever.

“Well, looks like we’ve got one more thing to do.”

“One more thing?”

“Of course—we need to give you a name! You’re not planning on debuting with ‘Han Yeoreum,’ are you?”

“…You’re right.”

Yeoreum nodded quickly at my not-quite-an-explanation, and I let out a giggle.

She looked like she hadn’t even considered the idea.

Guess it makes sense.
She’d been active as “Han Yeoreum” for so long, it was like she never stopped to think that she’d need a different name now.

“…”

“You don’t have to rush it. You’ve still got a bit of time before debut, and the CEO’s still figuring out exactly how to position you.”

I gently held her hands while she quietly thought it over.

Yeoreum had a tendency to dive headfirst into things the moment she decided on something.
It wasn’t easy for her to choose, but once she did, she went all in.

If she started thinking seriously about her name, I had a feeling she’d go silent for days.
So I wanted to give her some room.

“…Ichinose Natsu (一瀬 夏).”

“…!”

But maybe I was worried for nothing.

Her quiet voice came much sooner than expected, and I held my breath.

Ichinose Natsu. A surname made with the kanji for “one” (一) and “rapids” (瀬), and the given name “summer” (夏).

Anyone who knew the name “Han Yeoreum” would immediately flinch hearing it.

It wasn’t the same name—but it left just enough room to make you wonder: Could it be her?

“Yeoreum.”

“Sorry, Toya. But… I already told my fans, ‘Even if we meet again in a different form, I hope we can meet happily.’”

Because in the end, Han Yeoreum is still me.

Yeoreum wrinkled her face as if she’d just sipped bitter coffee with no sugar.

You’re hurting, aren’t you, Yeoreum?

Even if it was a life spent behind an avatar, everything she experienced as Han Yeoreum was real.

That time in her life couldn’t be erased—and she wouldn’t want to.

“Don’t be sorry! I think it’s a great idea! But… what’ll you do if someone figures it out?”

“Well… I’ll deal with that when it happens.”

“Wow… so cynical…”

Even though she’d chosen that name herself, she looked nervous, fidgeting slightly.

But she wasn’t going to take it back—that was pure Yeoreum stubbornness.

And that stubbornness… that, too, was part of who she was.
Both Yeoreum and Han Yeoreum.

“I’ll be cheering you on, Nacchan.”

“…Nacchan? What is that?”

“Natsu becomes Nacchan! Or do you want me to just keep calling you Yeoreum~ like I always do?”

I teased her, and she turned her head away shyly.

Trying not to show her face—
But it didn’t help. Her ears had already turned red.

Good thing I always keep her hair styled so her ears are visible!

Yeoreum’s ears blushed before her face did, so I always styled her hair with that in mind.

She really is adorable.

“…Yeah.”

“Hm?”

I was lost in thought when I heard her soft voice.
I leaned in, curious.

Did she just say “yeah”? Right?

Startled by my sudden closeness, Yeoreum looked like she was about to cry.

Oops—did I get too close?

I was just about to apologize for teasing her too much when she finally mumbled in a quiet voice:

“I want you… to call me by my real name.”

“…Ah.”

“…Toya?”

Her words left me speechless.

I mean—wow.

Is my face turning red right now?

—

> “Natsu becomes Nacchan! Or do you want me to just keep calling you Yeoreum~ like I always do?”

Even if others start calling me “Natsu” someday…
At the very least, I wanted Toya to keep calling me Yeoreum.

Toya, who came all the way to Korea to find me when I disappeared.

I bit my lip, thinking back to that time.

To me, the name “Yeoreum” didn’t just mean the VTuber Han Yeoreum.
It was also my real name, Han Yeoreum.

The name I wanted to be called wasn’t the VTuber “Han Yeoreum.”
It was just… Han Yeoreum, the person sitting right here.

“I want you to call me by my name.”

It might’ve been the bravest thing I’d ever said.
I wasn’t an expert on Japanese culture, but I knew full well what it meant to call someone by name alone.

Of course, Toya had already been calling me “Yeoreum~ Yeoreum~” this whole time…

But still—I might’ve misunderstood.

What if every time she called me that, it was just referring to VTuber Han Yeoreum?

“…Yeoreum, that’s your real name too, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

“I mean… I knew that, but hearing it directly like this… it hits different.”

I guess she never really thought about it that way before.

Maybe I should’ve just said, “Keep calling me the same as before,” instead of “Call me by name.”

Too late now.

Why did I say something like that and make things awkward…?

I couldn’t even look her in the eye anymore.

“You do know what it means when people call each other by name, right?”

“I don’t know much, but… I do know that.”

“Well, good. If you didn’t, I might’ve gotten mad.”

Toya grumbled something about me getting too good at charming girls, and I looked away.

So that’s how it came across, huh.

I guess ever since my body changed, I’ve gotten a lot more emotional—and now my words tend to follow those feelings.

This was one of those times. I just said what my heart told me to say.

“But if I’m the only one calling you by name, isn’t that unfair?”

“? What do you mean? You’re calling me by name right now.”

“No, I mean… I’ve only been calling you by my name—‘Yatogami Toya.’ But not my real name.”

“Okay then. Guess it’s time to tease dumb little Yeoreum a bit.”

Just as I widened my eyes in realization, Toya reached out and gently took my wrist.

Then, she slowly traced letters onto my palm with her finger.

‘紅葉’ (Momiji).

That must’ve been her real name.

So… nice to meet you, Momiji?

…Even knowing her real name, I had a feeling I’d still keep calling her Toya.