From VTuber♂ to VTuber♀ - Chapter 3

January 2nd — What kind of hospital is supposed to deal with a situation like this?

“This weather is seriously messed up… Huu…”

I rushed out of the house in a daze—but I regretted it the moment I stepped outside.
It was minus eleven degrees, and yet I only wore a padded jacket. What was I thinking?

I breathed into my hands with a “hoo,” rubbed them together, and quickly shoved them into my pockets.
I should’ve worn gloves…
…Not that I have any gloves that fit this body anyway.

Whooosh—

“Ugh, it’s so cold…”

Even if the jacket was oversized for this body, it didn’t change the fact that I wasn’t wearing anything below.
All I had on under the jacket was a single pair of boxer shorts—no pants.
As the freezing wind snuck in through my thighs, I instinctively squeezed my legs together, and chills ran through my whole body.

I was moving—I made it outside—but this clearly wasn’t a normal state.
I considered turning back… but since I was already out here, I might as well see it through.

“So the nearest hospital should be—”

[Search Result: Saenara Children’s Clinic]

“…A pediatrician, huh.”

I vaguely remembered hearing that pediatric clinics were becoming rare because of declining birth rates.
But hey, turns out there was one nearby.

I didn’t know if that was lucky or unlucky—but since they deal with kids, maybe they’d be extra gentle? That’s what I hoped as I pressed on.

…God, even checking the map is torture.

The longer my hands were out in the open, the more the icy wind savaged them.
I memorized the directions as quickly as I could, then stuffed my hands back in my pockets.

The clinic wasn’t far, so if I hurried, I’d survive.

Ding-a-ling—

“Oh my, hello there, young lady. Are your parents with you?”

“My, uh… my parents aren’t around…”

“…You mean they didn’t come with you?”

“They’re not around. I mean, I’m not even a minor. Here, this is my ID.”

…Oh. Right.
There’s no way I can prove my identity with my ID.
Who would believe that a grown man somehow turned into a tiny girl?

I reached for the ID I’d placed on the counter, but the nurse picked it up before I could.

U-Um! That’s… I put it there by mistake! Can I please have that back?!

The nurse glanced back and forth between my face and the ID, then gently slid it back toward me.

“Please wait a moment.”

“Y-Yes, ma’am…!”

Wait… did she just treat me like an adult?

When I first walked in, she spoke to me like I was a little kid. But now she was using honorifics like I was grown.

I stared at the nurse’s retreating back as she entered another room, then slowly sat down in one of the chairs by the counter.

I hope she doesn’t think I’m some weirdo.

I mean, a random kid shows up in the middle of winter wearing only a big adult jacket and hands over an ID with a grown man’s face on it?

‘…Yeah, anyone would think I’m weird.’

Should I run away now?
What if she’s calling the police?

The longer the counter stayed empty, the more that idea wormed into my brain.

Should I bolt? Right now? What if the cops are already on their way, thinking this is a child abuse case or something?

Even if the police came, I had no way to prove who I was.
I wasn’t even registered—I probably didn’t legally exist right now.

“…Screw it. I’ll just stay. Whatever happens, happens.”

But my body, now used to comfort, made no effort to get up.

I’d spent all night sick, walked here in a terrible condition, and now my body was too drained to even stand.
It had already declared a strike.

So I sat there in a tangle of anxiety, weariness, and the desire to just rest, until finally—

Click—

The nurse came back out.

“Patient Han Yeoreum, you may come in now.”

“Ah, yes!”

So… I didn’t get treated like a freak after all?

The nurse guided me to the room with a gentle smile.
There was nothing strange in her expression at all.

…Am I really okay? Is it safe to go in?

The closer I got, the more I watched her smile… and the more that smile made me nervous.

Still, it’s not like I can distrust the nurse and doctor in a hospital.

If I can’t go back to normal, the least I can do is talk to someone about it.
So I reached out and turned the doorknob.

“Ah… hello…”

“Patient Han Yeoreum?”

“…Y-Yes.”

Inside the room was a doctor with a kind, calming expression.

Just looking at him made me feel at ease.

I shuffled over and quietly sat in the consultation chair.

The seat was low—perfect for kids.

I didn’t like being treated like a child, but in this body, I was just grateful.
If it had been sized for adults, I would’ve made a whole scene trying to climb up.

“Could you tell me your symptoms, or what led up to this situation?”

“Um… let’s see… I had a fever all night, my body ached, I was coughing a lot, and then…”

Can they really tell anything from this?
Doesn’t it just sound like a bad cold?

The more I explained, the less confident I became.
Was I just some mentally ill girl who thought she was Han Yeoreum?

I started fumbling my words, growing more and more confused about who I even was, but the doctor just chuckled gently.

Like he’d heard worse.
Like this was a totally normal consultation.

That calming smile actually made me feel a little better.

“…My body changed like this.”

“Do you have any siblings, like a twin, perhaps?”

“No. I mean, um… no, I don’t think so…”

I was from an orphanage.
The kids I grew up with there were the closest thing I had to family.

But even that stopped meaning much once I moved out on my own.

There was a time when I wanted to find my birth parents, but it didn’t seem like a realistic goal.
Especially not when I was working construction jobs just to pay rent on a tiny studio apartment.

And now… look at me.

“Doctor, can I go back to how I was?”

“…I’m sorry, but you won’t be able to return to your original form.”

“…I see.”

Not might not be able to.
Not probably can’t.
Just flat out: You can’t go back.

I had been holding onto some tiny hope—maybe I could go back, maybe it wasn’t over yet—
But that one sentence shattered it.

So it’s over.
I can’t go back.
The person I was—the grown man known as Han Yeoreum—no longer…

…exists.

“Hkk—huh… huhh…”

“Patient?! Please breathe, breathe! Nurse Lim! Nurse Lim!”

“Gkk… huhh… huuhh…”

The moment I realized that truth, it felt like someone was choking me.

No—someone was choking me.

Stop. Please stop. I can’t breathe. Please—let go—stop it—

—Do you even know who is choking you?

“Patient! Patient, please!!”

“Huh… huhhh…”

It was me.
I was choking myself.

The despair of realizing that I had nothing left in this world.
The shock of losing even the hope that I could go back.

I thought I had tried so hard… So how did it come to this?

I felt hands grabbing me—trying to restrain my body as it thrashed from the panic attack.

And then I closed my eyes.

More accurately,
I let go.

—

—Hey, Toya-san, did you hear Yeoreum didn’t stream his New Year’s broadcast?

“Huh? Yeoreum didn’t stream? Really? That’s not like him at all…”

—People in Korea are joking that he went to Japan to meet you lololol

“No way~ We did say we’d meet sometime this year, but not right at New Year’s! Still… for him to skip a stream? He’s really not the type. Maybe he’s sick?”

Most fans didn’t like seeing male VTubers get paired with others,
but the Korean VTuber Han Yeoreum was often treated as an exception.

Probably because back when Toya was still small-time, before her agency blew up, Yeoreum had met her by chance in a game, helped her out, and even co-streamed with her.

And the fact that Yeoreum was a foreigner—speaking awkward Japanese to help with Toya’s streams—only made fans like him more.

A guy who lives and breathes streaming skipped a New Year’s broadcast? Hm… I’ll ping him on DigiCord after this stream.

“Anyway, thanks for coming to my New Year’s stream, everyone! This has been Yatogami Toya! Bye bye~”

—OtsuToya!
—OtsuToya!
—Good work, Toya-chan~
—Next stream: the hunt for missing Yeoreum lol
—OtsuToya!

[Stream ended.]