Self-Harming Heroine - Chapter 1

There is a novel called “The Dawn (黎明) of the Sword.”

It’s your typical run-of-the-mill academy novel.

It wasn’t that great.

While the writing was fairly decent, there were often sudden bursts of action and a plot that sacrificed coherence, which prevented it from receiving good reviews. Nevertheless, there was no serious collapse of settings or characters, and the appeal of the cast was decent enough that it didn’t receive bad evaluations.

A cliché I’ve seen somewhere before.

These character traits seemed to come from somewhere.

A typical academy story.

Yes, no matter how I slice it, it is a mediocre novel.

“The Dawn (黎明) of the Sword” was such a novel.

But regardless of the quality of the novel, I enjoyed reading it.

How should I put this? Should I say that there was a sense of malice?

The author seemed determined to put the protagonist through challenges.

In any case, they would shove sweet potatoes into my mouth.

I could definitely feel the author’s will.

That subtle sense of desolation and despair matched my taste.

And the protagonist’s struggle to overcome adversity relieved my frustrating heart, so I remembered “The Dawn (黎明) of the Sword” as quite an entertaining work.

“But this isn’t it… it shouldn’t be like this.”

What exactly did I do wrong?

Did I send a 5,700-character complaint email to the author? I don’t remember doing that1T/N: it’s considered a cliché in korean transmigration stories for haters who wrote a 5,700 word essay to be transported into that novel world.

Did I leave mean comments saying I didn’t like the work? I don’t remember that either.

Rather, all I did was leave polite comments, saying I enjoyed it───

“Oh!”

Is that it?!

Oh, no, such a flaw!

In return for enjoying it, the author wants me to experience the world firsthand, right?

I enjoy seeing characters suffer, not experiencing the pain myself!

“And of all characters, why Lucia…?”

It’s not that I hold any contempt for Lucia.

Rather, she was a heroine that I liked.

But Lucia’s tastes, let’s just say, aren’t exactly normal.

A masochist. A pervert who feels pleasure from pain───

“Oh!”

So that’s why!

Because I hate suffering, I’ve been placed into a character who revels in it?!

I don’t want such kindness!

Just when I was unable to figure out what to do and was staring at the mirror, the bell signaling the end of class rang out. The noisy chatter of students coming out into the hallway reached the bathroom.

I splashed some cold water on my face and exhaled. Okay. Let’s calm down for now. Think calmly.

I understand that I am Lucia.

I confirmed through experiments that my powers are functioning normally.

I wiggled my pinky finger, which was still attached.

At first, I intended to just make a small cut to see if it would regenerate… but impulsively, I ended up cutting off my finger.

But the feeling was good, you know?

That sensation when droplets of blood start to bead from the torn skin.

I couldn’t be satisfied; it was too tantalizing.

Let’s tear just a little more.

Let’s just scratch a little more.

As I continued to expand the extent of the wound, ultimately…

“…Ah.”

Just now, my heart skipped a beat.

I swallowed nervously and shifted my thoughts.

I can’t stay locked in the bathroom forever.

I should go out for now.

And assess the situation.

Right now, all I know is that I am Lucia and that my abilities are functioning normally.

I need to gather more detailed information.

Resolving my determination, I turned my body.

I sprinkled some water on the blood splattered on the floor to clean it up a bit, and then I exited the bathroom.

I am Lucia.

So, let’s act like Lucia.

Reiterating this to myself, I headed toward the classroom.

◈

Fortunately, it was not long after the ‘original work’ had started.

Today was the day after the academy’s entrance ceremony.

Considering that the first sentence of “The Dawn of the Sword” was about the protagonist’s entrance ceremony, the story had just begun.

If my memory is correct, the main events begin about a month after the entrance ceremony.

So I had at least a month to get my bearings.

Time flew by.

Focusing intently on gathering every piece of information, I looked around. By the time I came to my senses, I was the only one left in the classroom.

What if someone had recognized me? But thankfully, no one approached.

Is that fortunate… or not?

Lucia, you don’t have friends, do you?

Well, in retrospect, Lucia isn’t exactly a social character.

At least not yet.

Knowing she was abnormal, she kept her distance from others. If her true nature was exposed, it wouldn’t end well. Lucia starts interacting with her classmates only after the protagonist discovers her true nature. So at the moment, she had no friends.

Speaking of ‘the protagonist’ reminded me of him.

The guy sitting diagonally in front of me.

Eugene.

The protagonist of this world.

How should I approach him? Should I get close? Reach out first?

But I don’t want to. What if I get involved with him and turn out to be charmed by him as a female character?

I used to think it was implausible that heroines would fall for him without much interaction, but seeing it firsthand, I understand.

That face is the reason.

He has a pretty-boy face, using it as a weapon to charm women; how shameless.

But I can’t keep my distance forever.

Being the protagonist of this world is not an easy position.

Lucia is one of the heroines.

That means she impacts Eugene in some way, however small.

What would happen if one heroine were to disappear?

Would Eugene be able to grow physically and mentally as in the original?

Definitely not.

Even though Lucia is not the main heroine, she is not an extra that can just disappear.

She is an important character who absolutely cannot be missing.

“Sigh…”

A breath escaped involuntarily.

My shoulders feel heavy.

The fate of this world might change depending on my actions.

I don’t want this. No, I really don’t. Give this kind of transmigration role to someone who actually wants it.

Not me.

I shook my head in resignation.

No point in wallowing; I need to leave.

I can’t stay in this empty classroom forever. Lucia stayed in a dorm, right? Then, first I should return to the dorm and think about what to do next───

“…But where’s the dorm?”

Of course, there was no response to my mutter

◈

Squeak.

The door opened and the inside of the room was visible.

The academy spares no expense in supporting its students.

After all, every student here has supernatural abilities.

They are the only hope to protect the world from monsters of another realm. Investing in such students is natural, some might even say essential.

Perhaps because of this, the room was surprisingly cozy. It wasn’t huge but wasn’t uncomfortable either. The wallpaper was nice, and the furniture was polished.

Oh yeah, in case you wondered, finding the dorm wasn’t difficult.

The academy was vast, so I got lost at first, but by following other students, I eventually found the dorm.

When I arrived at the dorm, I faced another problem: I didn’t know which room Lucia used. But this too was easily solved.

The dorm key in my bag had the room number on it.

Thanks to that, I could enter my designated dorm room.

Each student had their own room.

A private space just for Lucia.

“Phew…”

I tossed my bag onto the desk and collapsed onto the bed.

I’m exhausted.

So mentally drained.

Suddenly becoming “Lucia” was overwhelming.

I managed to get here somehow, but the mental fatigue was intense.

Though Lucia might not mind physical pain, it seems she doesn’t take pleasure in mental burdens like this. 

Or maybe it’s because I’m the one inside Lucia.

Lying on the soft bed, I blankly stared at the ceiling.

A ceiling I don’t recognize.

Well, of course. Even if Lucia knows it, ‘I’ am seeing it for the first time.

As I lay there, the urge to sleep started to creep in, but I forced myself up.

Now isn’t the time for a carefree nap. I need to think about what comes next.

Sitting at the desk, I took out a notebook.

First, let’s write down the information I know.

Just in case, I’ll write it in Korean so only I can understand… Huh? But I seem to read this world’s language just fine? Even though it’s not Korean, I understand it without any issues.

This was an important realization.

How did I just now notice this? I must not have been in my right mind.

But please understand.

Any sane person would struggle to keep their composure in a situation like this.

I scribbled down important information to remember.

If I forget something later, I can look back at this.

I closed the notebook and stretched.

I raised both hands high and stretched my legs with all my might.

Then, something beneath my neck asserted its presence.

I groaned, realizing once again the fact I’d been trying to ignore.

Slowly, I rose from the chair and stood in front of the full-length mirror in the corner.

In the mirror stood a blonde girl.

There was no trace of the man that I remembered.

“…”

To be honest, she was beautiful.

Lucia’s beauty was breathtaking enough to make one think, “She’s truly a heroine!”

This lovely girl… later on, she goes out for a nighttime stroll with Eugene, wearing only a coat over her bare body and a collar around her neck?

And that was only because Eugene insisted she wear the coat. Otherwise, she would have just gone out completely naked…

Wow, just imagining that paints quite the picture… 

Delete! Delete!

Or… is there even a need to delete it?

After all, it’s my body now, so isn’t it safe to imagine things like that? No? Too bad.

I looked around.

This was Lucia’s room.

No one here but me.

The door was closed and the window was curtained, so it was impossible to peek from the outside.

That means.

No matter what I do here… 

… 

It means that no one will know, right?

Gulp.

I swallowed the saliva in my mouth and fiddled with the buttons on my uniform.

And with trembling hands, I undid the button.

It doesn’t matter if there are no subheadings, right? It doesn’t matter. Yeah, that’s right.

Right?

Oh yeah, I felt like adding the author’s notes at the end of each chapter since it already exists in the original novel. Feel free to say if you like it or not.

Not that it matters since I’ll still do it even if I get a gun pointed to my head, heh.