[TS] Formula One Streamer - Chapter 203

Just a few months.

Although it has not even been a year since Kang Ho-yun and I last met, we had so much to catch up on. Sharing a space and living together made us curious about even the smallest details of each other’s lives.

Moreover, I feel sorry for Kang Ho-yun, but ever since I joined Ferrari, I have been so consumed with practice that I had no time to focus on anything else. I hardly communicated with my best friend Jihyun Lee, who came to the same laboratory for an internship. My busy days were so hectic that even exchanging a word each day was fortunate.

Even when not in driving practice, I was busy running around the laboratory collaborating with engineers. Considering my level of engineering, it was more about communication rather than true collaboration, but that alone left me overwhelmed with tasks. I was often called here and there in line with the research and development direction of optimizing the race car for drivers.

Eventually, I spent so much time moving around that I sat down in the meeting room with the heads of each department, as if I were being interrogated, to have my information extracted.

“Still, Kang Ho-yun would understand…”

It’s unavoidable, and I know that Kang Ho-yun’s personality would allow him to understand me ten or a hundred times. However, understanding and truly accepting something in one’s heart are two entirely different matters.

As humans, we can be hurt by very trivial matters when related to someone important.

Yes. Unbeknownst to us, we became the kind of friends who could be hurt by trivialities and worry about each other’s pain.

While I was indulging in everyday talk, I looked directly into his eyes and said, “I haven’t been in touch lately, have I?”

Kang Ho-yun, who had been expressionless, smiled and replied. Though he raised his voice in an attempt to hide his disappointment, it was clear from his expression and gestures that he felt let down.

“Yeah? It wasn’t just that you were neglectful, it was practically non-existent. I only heard about you occasionally through articles.”

“I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. You don’t have to apologize. I’ve been busy too, just like you.”

He has been just as busy as I have…

I didn’t deny that. No, I couldn’t deny it.

The very fact that Kang Ho-yun, who has close to professional skill but couldn’t become a professional, stood here in a uniform serves as evidence of how hard and how fiercely he has lived. The space he occupies speaks more than a hundred or a thousand words.

It could be that Kang Ho-yun has experienced a more challenging path than I have.

“I’ve been cooped up all day playing For One. If not that, I’d be searching for and analyzing videos of active drivers… I lived painfully just to try on this uniform.”

“So… you were a gaming hermit?”

“Haha! I guess that sounds about right?”

How nonchalantly he looks back on his past, with a carefree smile that seems to lack regret. How many frustrations and despairs must he have overcome to laugh so casually about a difficult past?

I could read all the hardships he has faced until now from his expression.

“I’ve walked that same path several times, too.”

It’s not a delusion or arrogance to think I understand someone else’s time. People can only understand others through their own experiences, and I can only understand him based on my experiences. I am confident that the experiences he has encountered are not vastly different from mine.

When faced with the incomprehensible truth that I must break down the immense wall called limitation with the hammer of my own spirit, it must have been the same for Kang Ho-yun. He probably hammered away at the wall’s backside countless times, pushing through until it developed a crack, until that incomprehensible truth is no longer incomprehensible.

Haven’t I faced similar challenges? To surpass the limitations of the talent given to me, to overcome the limitations of the race car that stand in my way, I have destroyed that truth countless times.

I am who I am because I’ve proven myself, as is Kang Ho-yun. People who have proven themselves can recognize each other simply by seeing.

So, how I became who I am now and how arduous that process must have been, Kang Ho-yun would understand perfectly. That’s why he could so casually brush off the past.

Suddenly, Kang Ho-yun spoke.

“But standing here now, I sometimes miss those times.”

“Those times? What do you miss?”

“Just… when I naïvely tried to be a driver. Back then, I thought that wall was the highest and thickest wall in the world.”

The highest and thickest wall in the world.

In reality, such a wall does not exist in this world. There’s always another wall beyond the one in front of you. For everyone, a wall is relative and a matter of continuity. Behind the next is another next, behind a start is a process, and behind a result is a new beginning.

The gateway to becoming a driver must have been the first wall he jumped over in his life. While I can’t arbitrarily judge his life, his affluent background and highly supportive parents must have already broken down the walls he ought to have faced.

However, the wall of becoming a driver is on an entirely different level. It’s not something that can be solved with money (though it’s possible, it’s not a fundamental solution). It’s a wall that must be overcome with one’s own skills.

For him, it was the first wall and the first encounter with his own limits. I may have helped him, but it was his will that ultimately overcame that. When I see his talent and unwavering determination, it’s clear that Kang Ho-yun is far from an ordinary person. At this level, he is essentially a genius.

“That’s something you can say because you’re standing here now; if asked to go back in time, you wouldn’t want to do that again.”

“Of course! Even if someone were to k*ll me, I wouldn’t go back. I can’t do it twice.”

Once a person realizes that behind the wall there are higher and thicker walls, they can’t go back to the first time. Sticking to the problems present now is better than repeating the same mistakes.

Ignorance is bliss. Naturally, the wall faced now is larger, but perhaps it’s easier to say because the person doesn’t yet know how tough that road can be. Still, ignorance is bliss. People generally don’t want to experience what they have already faced again.

“What’s your next goal?”

“Hmm… to score at least 1 point. My immediate goal is to join the midfield battle.”

“That sounds tough.”

Joining the midfield battle with His’s race car will indeed be a challenging task. Today, even achieving 16th place was a high-level accomplishment from His’s perspective.

Checking the time as we drove through the pit lane, we found ourselves looking at each other simultaneously. A considerable amount of time had passed.

“I guess I should start heading out now. It looks like your team is ready to withdraw.”

“Yeah. It’s time to go.”

As always, it feels like time flows twice as fast during reunions with precious people.

I expressed my feelings of regret as I said to him, “I wonder when I’ll see you again. It’s been so long since we met, and now it’s hard to say goodbye.”

At that, Kang Ho-yun looked at me with wide eyes, as if surprised by what I said.

“You don’t know?”

“…Know what?”

“After the Grand Prix, all 10 teams stay at a hotel designated by the FIA for a day.”

“Does F1… have that?”

“They eat, drink, and have fun together. From the FIA’s perspective, it looks good. The teams that fought fiercely on the circuit gather in one place, gossip like friends, and then it gets filmed and broadcasted. It helps with the F1 image and makes money. Killing two birds with one stone.”

“…”

Wow, they really get along. This is truly a festival for everyone.

‘That’s not what’s important, Yooihyun!’

So… I have to see those Red Bull folks again today, after Ferrari stomped down on them.

They are not the type to hold grudges, but still, doesn’t that mean I have to face and laugh with the team I delivered defeat to? It’s a burden; will I ever be able to take a sip of water?

No matter how I think about it, it’s something both the winner and loser cannot face.

I rubbed my temples with one hand, shaking my head.

“Who came up with that? It’s truly dizzying…”

And then, the shocking reality dawned on me the day I discovered the Grand Continental Hotel.

“Hello, Senior. I learned a lot today. Thank you for teaching someone as lacking as me. My name is Daniel Ricciardo.”

“Oh! Yoohyun-senpai! I look forward to working with you! I’m Sergio Pérez, and I’ll be the F1 rookie from today!”

“…”

I received a warm welcome from my seniors… no, from my juniors.