[TS] Formula One Streamer - Chapter 154

“I missed you, a lot.”

Kang Ho-yun appeared before me once again.

“Uh, um…”

I should respond to a greeting with a greeting, but… I couldn’t easily find the words. Various emotions were tangled up, so I couldn’t find the right expression or words.

Reuniting with Kang Ho-yun was a mix of joy and regret. I felt grateful and sorry at the same time. The conflicting emotions were swirling inside me, leaving me somewhat bewildered.

“What should I say… Should I apologize?”

Among all those emotions, the biggest one was guilt. I had so much to be sorry for. Since joining Ferrari, I had almost cut off contact with Kang Ho-yun, who could be considered my benefactor.

However, it was hard to call it an excuse, as I had been so busy that I couldn’t even sleep properly. I had no reason to feel justified. My life at the laboratory was filled with unavoidable situations.

Ferrari, which was like a sinking ship, had so many issues to address that I was incredibly busy, and I actually slept more in chairs than in beds.

My body was lacking even if it had ten times the capacity, as I was helping with research and development in various direct and indirect ways, and whenever I returned to my main job as a driver, I would do test drives multiple times a day, leaving me exhausted some days to the point I couldn’t even get out of the cockpit by myself.

As I was overwhelmed with hard work, I naturally lost leisure time, and without that, it was hard to care for those around me. It was almost impossible to think about Kang Ho-yun, who was far away.

Moreover, as the time spent on reality grew overwhelmingly long, even my access to For One, the outlet through which I could communicate closely with Kang Ho-yun, decreased…

As a result, since joining Ferrari, I hadn’t even sent a single text to Kang Ho-yun.

“Ha… Still, I messed up. What a hard thing to…”

No matter how busy I had been, or what excuses I could make, this was my fault. There’s no room for excuses. Wasn’t he the first person besides Jihyun Lee who believed in me in this world? He even came to the airport to see me off when I was leaving for Italy, even knowing he could only watch from afar. We were each other’s “precious people.”

I had received so much and given so much as well. No, I had received more than I had given. Whether it was material or abstract, the fact was that I owed a significant debt to Kang Ho-yun.

Yeah. Kang Ho-yun was one of the few people I could call a connection.

Taming the waves of emotions within me, I was finally able to speak. It was very cautious, and I was still careful.

“…It’s been a long time. I’ve been doing well. You’ve been well too, right?”

“Yes, judging by the fact that I’ve come this far, I guess I’ve been doing well?”

“What does that mean? You mean you’ve been doing well?”

“I think so.”

Kang Ho-yun’s lips curled up into a subtle smile, leaving behind a meaningful remark. It was a smile of relief rather than joy. I was curious about what had brought him relief, but I didn’t pry further. I thought that was the least I could do out of courtesy.

“I’ll go ahead. Take your time to chat.”

Perhaps sensing the rare situation of Korean being spoken in F1 and the subtle atmosphere between Kang Ho-yun and me, Leclerc, who had been rolling his eyes, quickly made his exit.

“Okay. I’ll follow soon.”

I nodded slightly to convey my gratitude before turning my attention back to Kang Ho-yun.

“I heard you’ve been sitting in his seat… It suits you well, the white.”

“Really? I’m glad it suits me.”

“It’s too late, but… anyway, congratulations on becoming a driver. I knew you could do it, oppa.”

“Come on… You know I’m a paid driver. It’s all thanks to my father.”

Kang Ho-yun waved his hand and smiled awkwardly. That was both humility and embarrassment. How could I, who had gotten my Ferrari seat on my own without parental help, say such things to him? It seemed like a high-level irony…

Thinking this way, I realized I was being thoughtless and unlucky.

Once that thought crossed my mind, I became even more embarrassed, and I shouted.

“No! That’s not what I meant! Don’t misunderstand.”

“What misunderstanding?”

“It’s just that… Is becoming a paid driver something anyone can do? You need money and a certain level of skill, and….”

I babbled on to clear up the misunderstanding.

Paid driver. A driver who sits in a racer’s seat by paying for it. In the world of sports, where everything is proven by skill, that seat, which might be seen as disgraceful, is always filled with prejudice and preconceptions, attracting cold and harsh gazes.

The act of buying a seat with money itself implies that the driver must be lacking in skill. Additionally, while it is called prejudice, paid drivers achieving good results is extremely rare, which means it can’t be dismissed as just a stereotype.

That’s how it was.

However, not just anyone can become a paid driver. Money is a matter of fact, so let’s skip that, but even regarding skill alone, there’s no crazy team owner that would sit an obviously unqualified driver in that seat. Using such a driver may temporarily help secure funds, but in the long run, it would completely ruin the team’s image.

And F1 teams here may be lacking in research and development costs, but they are not so financially strapped that they would struggle to maintain and exist. Thus, they hire paid drivers who at least have “potential.” Of course, this potential is far lower probability compared to other drivers who have proven themselves through skill.

In that sense, Kang Ho-yun could be called a golden-egg-laying paid driver. According to what I heard from Jihyun Lee, he recently broke into the top 30 in the For One rankings, qualifying him for “paid driver” status, and he is more than qualified as a “driver.”

Moreover, considering his growth, he could be seen as a highly promising rookie whose future is promising. Meeting me just a few months ago, he has shown such considerable growth in that short period, indicating he has immense potential.

To be honest, even I was unsure back then if Kang Ho-yun could debut as a driver. But not anymore. If he builds his experience well in his current team, he should be able to transfer to a mid-ranking team next season and achieve good results, including scoring points.

“You finished in 14th today. Do you know how difficult that is for a rookie driver in a low-ranking team?”

It is absolutely not an easy task. Where could a rookie driver with the burden and pressure overcome it and perform at 100% of their ability? Though 14th may not be considered a high placement, given the peculiarities of his team and Kang Ho-yun’s situation, it was a miraculous ranking for both.

“Kuk kuk.”

After my passionate declaration, Kang Ho-yun was laughing broadly, his white teeth on full display.

What’s so funny?

Kang Ho-yun soon spoke to me, who was bemused.

“You finally seem a bit like yourself.”

“You keep saying things I don’t understand—”

“You seemed too far away.”

For a moment, Kang Ho-yun’s expression, which cut into my words, was more serious than ever. Perhaps even more serious than when racing.

“You became a Ferrari driver and left for Italy, while I stayed here in Korea, being nothing… I promised myself I would follow you, but it hasn’t worked out as I hoped, and it’s been hard. I felt like I might never see you again, and it seemed like I was drifting further from my dreams…”

So that’s why you felt distant, he trailed off.

“But, but… seeing you here again as the same driver makes me feel like we’ve come a bit closer. It feels good to meet the Yooihyun I knew, even though being a paid driver is somewhat complicated?”

It felt like I had been hit in the head with a blunt object. I had nothing to say. I had pledged to take care of my precious people, yet why had I overlooked how precious I was to them? If they were precious to me, why had I forgotten that I was also important to them?

It was hard to comprehend the heart of Kang Ho-yun, which must have been burning with anger over the time apart, so instead of saying I was sorry, I said something different.

“Let’s meet often from now on, okay?”

Both on and off the circuit.

Let’s meet often.

*

*

*

My reunion with Kang Ho-yun ended there. I didn’t have time to ask how he had been or how he ended up here. Tomorrow was qualifying, and both Ferrari and his team were in a time crunch of 24 hours.

Reluctantly, we had to part ways, promising to catch up next time.

Until qualifying started, life at the laboratory was no different. Everyone was busy in their respective positions, and I was working on simulations with Leclerc based on yesterday’s race data, fixing even the smallest details.

To shave off even 0.1 seconds, we willingly accepted the unfair processes of investing many times his time.

The preparation period was short. The next day was qualifying.

Thus, the real main event that all the drivers, F1 teams, and F1 fans had been waiting for was about to begin.