From VTuber♂ to VTuber♀ - Chapter 36

What It Means to Have a Favorite

“Totomo-chan is~ so cute today too~”
“…”

In the dream, I was VTubing with Toya.

We were laughing and playing games using avatars that looked just like us.
To think I’m even VTubing in my dreams now.

At first, I completely believed it was real—but after a bit of time, I finally realized it was just a dream.

“Hey, Toya?”
“Totomo-chan, so cute… hehe.”

…To be precise, I woke up because Toya was hugging me tightly in her sleep.

I gently called out her name as she held me snugly in her arms, refusing to let go.
But Toya didn’t show any sign of waking up.

Hey, Toya? Toya? I’m getting kind of hot, could you wake up?

Because I’m the type to get really sick once I catch a cold, Toya’s house always keeps the heat running.
And being wrapped in Toya’s arms in that warm environment… I was starting to overheat.

“Ugh… cough cough! Cough cough!”
“…”
“Toya!”

As my body heated up, my breathing got labored, and that led to coughing fits.
I gave up trying to wake her with words and decided to use force instead.

My arms and hands were pinned by Toya, so I had no choice but to use my head—literally.

I lifted my head just enough to press the top of it firmly against Toya’s cheek.
“Toyaaa…! Wake! Up!”

“Uuhh… hng… mmm?”

With some awkward angle adjustments, I pushed my crown hard into her face.
Wake up, wake up! Get up, you dummy!

Any more coughing and I was sure I’d end up hacking out a lung, so I pressed with all my might.

I was a little scared that she might not wake up at all…
But fortunately, Toya eventually opened her eyes.

“Sorry, Yeoreum!”

“Haa… cough…”

Toya shot upright and began gently rubbing my back as I coughed.
What kind of dream was she having to be muttering “so cute” over and over like that?

Anyway, thanks to her careful back pats, my coughing calmed down fairly quickly.
From now on, we really need to dial back the heating at night…

“I—I don’t usually have that kind of habit, okay? But, I mean… when something so warm and snuggly fits perfectly in your arms, it’s hard to resist… Ahaha…”

“Toya.”
“Y-Yeah?”

Still looking a little dazed from just waking up, Toya tilted her head at me.

Hmm, I wasn’t sure if this was the right thing to say first thing in the morning—or maybe because it was morning, I had the courage to say it now.

If I hesitated and missed the chance, I felt like I’d never say it again.

I let out a deep sigh, feeling conflicted, and Toya leaned in, concerned.

‘How am I even supposed to explain this?’

I had a dream about being a VTuber again. And now… I suddenly want to try it again.
It was impulsive, and I was well aware of that.

As I began smoothing out Toya’s bedhead, her eyes widened and she covered her mouth in shock.

Is it really that surprising?

“Yeoreum brushed my hair…!”
“I don’t think that’s that big of a deal…”

But I guess it was worth the effort.
Her hair looked a lot neater now than it did a moment ago.

“Toya.”
“Hmm? What is it?”

Toya smiled gently in response to my call, and I took a deep breath.

Why was I trembling this much over something so simple?

I had a feeling Toya would say something like, “If Yeoreum wants to, then go for it!”
Because to me, VTubing used to be that natural. That important.

How did I let it become so distant?

Once, it was everything to me.

“I… I’m thinking of trying VTubing again.”
“…”

“Toya?”

Maybe it was embarrassment, or maybe I just lacked the confidence—I couldn’t bring myself to meet her eyes.
I just said it quietly, lowering my head even more.

But when she didn’t reply right away, I became curious and lifted my head to look.

Would she be smiling? Or maybe she’d be confused?

I imagined all kinds of Toya’s expressions… and then I saw it.

“…Toya.”
“S-Sorry… I-I wasn’t trying to cry, really!”

I froze as I saw the tears trickling down Toya’s cheeks.

Toya… was crying. Because of me.

My heart pounded, guilt rushing through my body.

But only for a moment.
Toya smiled brightly through her tears, and my heart slowly began to calm down.

She wasn’t sad—
She was crying from happiness.

“Happy… yeah, I’m just really happy. Sorry for surprising you… ehe…”

“…”

All I said was that I might return to VTubing.
Just that.

Why would she cry over that?

There’s no way someone like me is worth crying over.

Even though my heartbeat slowed, my chest felt even heavier.

What if all those choices I made to give up were completely pointless?

What if my dumb decisions hurt the people around me?

…I don’t know. It’s too much for me to think about.

“…Toya, are you really that happy I’m coming back to VTubing?”

“Of course I am!”

The answer came immediately, filled with certainty and warmth.
It hit me so deeply that I couldn’t help asking the same question again in my mind.

Why?
It’s just one retired VTuber making a comeback. That’s all.

But to Toya, it was something this big.

“…Any fan would be thrilled for their oshi’s return.”

“—Ah.”

I see.

Even someone like me…
Had someone who loved and supported me.

Someone who watched over me.

‘Just what kind of stupid decision did I make…’

Whether past or present, I’ve always been the kind of person to do something dumb and then regret it deeply.

I hugged the smiling, tearful Toya tightly.

This time, I vowed not to make a choice I’d regret.
My first resolution of the new year.

—

“I wish Yeoreum could just debut right now!”

“Well, I can’t help it. It’s not like I have an avatar ready to go.”

Until I had an avatar, there wasn’t much I could do.

But Toya was so happy about my decision that she brought in a new computer the very same day.
One that was better than her own setup.

I tried telling her to use the new one instead, but she insisted it was a gift to celebrate her oshi’s VTuber comeback.

…Of course I was happy. But still—
This kind of price tag feels a bit much to just accept.

‘I didn’t say it out loud, but she probably saw it on my face.’

Maybe she already knew I was soft-hearted and would reluctantly accept it if she gave enough reason.

Now that I think about it, I’ve never actually won against Toya in anything.

I’m always the one who gives in.
But that’s only because Toya never pushes too hard or makes unreasonable demands.

“…There might be one.”

“Huh?”

Anyway, enough about computers.

The real topic now was the virtual avatar I’d be using.

I hadn’t even told her manager yet, so I figured it’d take quite a while before I could actually debut.

Because it’s not like you can whip up a virtual model overnight.

“There might be an avatar that suits you. No—there is one.”

But Toya spoke with certainty.

Not like it could be made fast—but like it already exists.

An avatar that suits me.

With such conviction in her voice, I couldn’t help but feel curious.

“Alright, then should we go meet with the manager?”

“Huh?”

“To talk about contracts and how we’ll handle things! Oh, does that mean Yeoreum would become my junior? Like, VSPE’s second-gen~!”

Is that so?

Now that I think about it, I do remember hearing something about them looking for second-gen talents.

Since I’m kind of in-between as far as being an insider goes, I hadn’t paid too much attention.

But… a junior?

Me, Toya’s junior… hmm…

“That feels weird.”

“What does? Coming back as a VTuber? Or going from male VTuber to female VTuber?”

“No, more like… the idea of you being my senior feels weird.”

“…Really?”

Ignoring agency stuff—if we went by debut order alone, Toya would be my junior, not the other way around.

Ah, not that I care about seniority with Toya.

I’d rather not be treated as a senior or junior.

What I really want is…

Just this.
Exactly the way we are now.

Not senior, not junior.

Just best friends.