I Quit Being an Idol and Became a Youtuber - Chapter 10

After stabbing my resignation letter into the boss’s face, I stood there blankly in front of the dorm entrance.

“…I should go in.”

Although I had prepared myself for this, my body wouldn’t move when it came time to tell the others.

I hadn’t felt this nervous even when I auditioned here for the first time.

“If it’s too hard even now, just say it. I’ll speak for you.”

“…No, this is something I have to do.”

I answered Shion, who was asking me right before I entered the dorm.

No matter how much pressure there was from the agency, this was ultimately my decision.

If the others blame me for this, it would be sad, but I was willing to accept that.

“Honestly, I would probably be resentful to some degree too.”

In desperate situations, a person’s heart doesn’t behave as intended.

Even older adults get angry in such situations, so it would be even more so for people who have just become adults.

“…Ren, are you really okay with this?”

Shion, who had moved beyond worry and now had a half-crying expression, asked me.

In Japan, it is common for managers and producers who manage an artist’s schedule to not be distinguished.

Since he had been with me from the birth of Cornelia until now, our bond had to be deep.

If either Naro or Shion were missing, Cornelia wouldn’t even be here right now.

While I was thinking about the future, Shion asked me again.

“…Then, everyone will get through this.”

Changing group members is something that other idols often experience.

In fact, just this past life, there was a case where the leader of a famous idol group retired from show business, but the group itself mostly remained intact.

“…That’s not it. I’m asking if you’re really okay with this.”

“……”

I averted my gaze awkwardly from his serious eyes.

Of course, I was close to my members, but if I had to choose the person I had known the longest among my acquaintances, I would pick Shion.

Since we had known each other from the moment I entered this company, we understood each other very well.

The one he was asking if I was okay with was not the members, but me.

“…Of course, I’m not okay.”

I had to give up everything I built because of that idiot Hikari and was being forced to retire. There was no way I could be okay with that.

If I could remain unbothered and composed in this situation, I should become a Buddha, not an idol.

“…Yeah, I thought so.”

Seeing me like this, Shion sighed.

Would retiring as an idol really improve the situation?

It was obvious that the stigma of being a controversial idol would follow me around, and it was questionable whether someone with a poor educational background like me would find proper employment.

“Of course, even if I tried to intervene, it wouldn’t change anything.”

He was still a beginner in society, but he could guess that an artist who had formed bad ties with the agency, like me, would have a bleak future.

In the end, the only thing Shion could do for Ren was to wish for her future.

“…Don’t think too strangely. You haven’t done anything wrong.”

Even though he was the producer managing the group, Shion was still just an employee.

An employee who could easily be replaced at the words of the boss.

No matter how hard he tried, there would be no effective results.

“Ah, older sister! The producer is here too?”

“…Ah, yeah.”

As I entered the dorm, Airi, who coincidentally was near the entrance, greeted us.

As I passed her and moved inside, the members who were taking a break caught my eye.

“Ren unnie, are you two on a date?”

“Hey, unnie, you can’t! If you really date, that would violate the contract…!”

“There’s no such clause in our contract, Hina.”

Today too, Yui was freely teasing me, and Hina was flustered at her while Natsume calmed Hina down.

Thinking that I might never see this familiar scene again made my heart ache.

“Unnie? Is something wrong…?”

Seeing my silent demeanor, was Airi worried? She carefully asked me.

Right, “strike while the iron is hot.” It would be better to say it quickly.

“…I have something to tell you all. Can you call the others?”

“Ah, okay…”

At my words, Airi went inside to call the other members in the living room.

The five original members gathered, excluding me.

Hikari? I wonder where that person has disappeared to now; I couldn’t see a trace of her.

“Yeah, it’s better that she’s not here.”

It would only make me angry if I saw her face. For various reasons, I wanted to avoid entanglement with her as much as possible.

“Um… unnie?”

At her words, I snapped back to reality and looked around; all the members seemed curious about what I was about to say.

After all, it would be better for me to say it rather than having them hear it from Shion.

“What is it…?”

Did they feel the seriousness in my mood? Hina and Natsume, who had been joking among themselves, paused.

Even Yui, who had just been teasing me, quietly waited for my answer.

After taking a slow breath, I calmly declared.

“I’ve decided to retire from being an idol.”

*

Was it the sudden declaration of retirement that shocked them?

An oppressive silence engulfed the room.

“…What…?”

How long had it been? Airi asked me in a trembling voice, as if in shock.

“Um, unnie… you’re joking, right?”

“…I’m sorry, I wish it were a joke.”

I answered bitterly to her words.

If I had known it would come to this, I would have joined a better agency regardless of the original work. If I had done that, I probably wouldn’t have had to part ways because of a boss who knows nothing.

“No, that wouldn’t have been possible because of the pressure.”

Seeing as the major events unfolded only after Hikari came, it might be that I would have somehow become involved at the original work’s timeline.

“W-what did we do wrong?”

Hina asked me in a trembling voice.

Perhaps due to her unusually emotional nature among us, tears began to well in her eyes.

“No, none of you did anything wrong. It’s just… it’s a problem between me and the company.”

Naturally, there couldn’t be any fault on their part.

The bad thing was the company; there’s nothing wrong with the artist who was just doing their job quietly.

“…Ren unnie, don’t go.”

Simultaneously, Yui hugged me.

Being the shortest among our members, she practically nestled into my embrace.

“I won’t play around with you anymore…”

“…Don’t cry, Yui.”

I gently patted Yui’s head.

Under normal circumstances, I would push her away for clinging to me like this, but I didn’t want to do that now.

“Don’t annoy the others just because I’m gone, especially give Shion a break.”

“……”

Even though I didn’t get a reply from Yui, I could feel her giving a small nod.

The atmosphere in the dorm was heavier than ever.

“…Unnie, is it because of Hikari?”

Having somewhat recovered from the shock, Natsume asked me with a dark expression.

“…No, it’s not that.”

After some thought, I denied Natsume’s words.

She could essentially be seen as being in cahoots with the company, so it would be reasonable to believe that she had a say in my s*xual favors case.

Still, the reason I didn’t point out Hikari was simple.

I couldn’t allow them to have friction among themselves because of me leaving the group.

“Who knows what that person might do next.”

No matter how sad it was, those who lived had to keep going.

If my issues led others to be criticized, those girls might become targets.

“…I understand.”

Fortunately, it seemed Natsume picked up on my intentions and didn’t probe further.

I felt relieved for a moment, but then I turned my head at the sound of crying next to me.

“…Nano.”

“Waahh! Unnie!”

At those words, Nano burst into tears and ran towards me.

Hug!

“Don’t go! I… I did something wrong…!! I gave up my center position, and now you too…!”

“…Nano.”

“From now on, I’ll just say I don’t like something if I don’t!”

As she quickly took Yui’s seat, I gently embraced Nano.

Seeing her cry so heartbreakingly made me want to cry too.

Starting with her, the other members began to approach me as well.

“Unnie, then we should all just…”

“…No, you stay here.”

To be honest, I didn’t want to leave these girls in such a wretched company.

“But they all have some time left on their contracts.”

Unlike me, who could take responsibility alone if a penalty arose, those girls had families to take care of.

Even if the penalty issues were resolved, I couldn’t let them follow me without any guarantee that another agency would take them in.

“Unnie…”

“Don’t worry, the company won’t treat you roughly.”

If the boss were to lose me, he would certainly feel a sense of crisis.

He might not care about anything else, but when it came to money, he took it seriously.

Knowing that others might also leave because of me, the company wouldn’t dare mistreat these girls.

“Unnie, you’ll keep in touch, right?”

“…Yeah.”

Honestly, I couldn’t guarantee that.

In this world, they were the protagonists, and I was the antagonist.

No matter what happened outside, in the story, there could never be a connection.

“But I don’t want to see the girls getting sadder than this.”

Well, it should be enough to exchange updates about living occasionally.

Ignoring the slight pang of guilt in my heart, I quietly patted Nano’s head.