I Don’t Want to Play Villains Anymore - Chapter 32

Villain, Diary

“Haneul has arrived. I saw the advertisement. The public will surely be surprised by Sparkle Girl’s transformation.”

“…Ugh. Director.”

My shoulders flinched. Partially.

Director Gong Mu-heon’s Shin Sound was calm as always, but I didn’t miss the subtle hint of ‘joking atmosphere’ hidden within.

I’m not one to have gained experience through countless previous scenes for nothing.

‘d*mn it. Do I really have to be teased even here…!’

With my head slightly bowed, I forced a smile. I tried to look as polite as possible, but with a refusal included: ‘I will not accept this joke anymore.’

“Haha… I am grateful.”

If it were truly a friendly laugh, it wouldn’t have felt like I was bleeding inside.

I looked at Director Gong Mu-heon with my legs hesitantly trying to move forward.

I never thought I’d hear something like ‘Sparkle~ Bang Bang~’ come from Director Gong Mu-heon.

What kind of disaster is this?

“I’m curious how that energy will be acted out in Suha’s scene today.”

“……”

My bl**d ran cold.

This wasn’t just a joke… it was a warning disguised as one.

No, to put it more precisely, it was provocation.

‘You just acted like an idol, right? You can still show that level today, can’t you?’

This kind of provocation is quite effective for me.

I have a naturally stubborn personality, and it seems he knows that very well.

Alright. Haneul. Be professional. If you lose your temper here, you lose.

I carefully lifted the corners of my mouth.

Not cute, not polite, just a neutral expression of ‘I understand.’

“Today, Suha won’t smile like in the advertisement, Director.”

Gong Mu-heon nodded slightly.

In that small movement, the unspoken message of ‘I’m looking forward to it’ was clear.

“Good. Then let’s go for Scene 18-1, starting with Suha’s solo shot. This is the warm-up scene before the highlight. Haneul, are you ready?”

“…Yes. I’m ready.”

Before the end of my words, I moved my feet.

This scene is a hallway.

At the end of a small kindergarten hallway, Suha is sitting alone.

Next to the table, something stained red is present, and in the classroom, shadows of adults moving chaotically are visible.

No one is looking at Suha.

But Suha sees everything.

I tucked myself in a corner at the back of the classroom, away from the monitor. Under the stage lights, a few steps behind where I was supposed to be.

Then, I took a deep breath.

Air traveled down my throat, and a chill ran up my spine.

Suha.

I’m not the ‘sugar fairy’ from the advertisement or a friendly ghost to my kindergarten friends.

From now on, I’m something unfamiliar wearing the mask of a human.

I slowly lifted my head.

Kneeling on the floor of the hallway.

My fingertips were neatly placed on my knees, just like a five-year-old girl.

And I raised my gaze.

I heard the soft sound of the camera turning on.

“…….”

I didn’t say anything.

Neither did I move.

I just gradually shifted my gaze.

Not to the camera, but to something invisible at the end of the hallway.

It could be the teacher, a friend, or the adults who just passed through this hallway.

What lay at the end of my gaze was, ‘careless bystander.’

“Action.”

Director Gong Mu-heon’s voice rang out sharply. It seemed devoid of emotion, but it was a tone I knew well.

A tone that confirmed, ‘I definitely heard that.’

I slowly rose from my spot.

My body felt light, but there was also a heaviness as if I had crawled up from underground. It was the trace of something alive.

“Good. That look, was precise.”

Gong Mu-heon said.

The script in his hand hadn’t flipped even once.

Because there were no lines in this scene.

Haneul slightly turned her head. The assistant director was replaying the scene on the monitor, and a few staff members were leaning in close.

“…Wow, that’s really scary.”

“Is she really the girl from the advertisement? Those eyes… are genuinely empty.”

“That girl is an actress. Not just any actress, a real actress.”

I heard whispers.

I quietly closed my mouth and lowered my head.

Compliments might feel good, but emotional exhaustion is the price.

The director stepped closer.

He paused briefly in front of me and then said very briefly.

“Because of that advertisement, the public will think Haneul is ‘wild.'”

I slightly lifted my head to look at him.

His expression was calm, as though waiting for the next take.

“…So it will be even scarier.”

Gong Mu-heon smirked and nodded softly.

“That’s precisely acting.”

I nodded slightly.

As I stepped out of the hallway and into the light, my shadow flickered briefly against the wall.

The shadow was still small and straight, but there was an air of maturity and age seeping through it.

“Preparing for the next scene! Changing setups!”

The set buzzed with activity.

I walked over to the waiting area without saying a word.

‘Maybe I’m finally… starting to become myself.’

Now was the moment for ‘ actress Baek Haneul.’

Because the next scene to be filmed was…

The highlight for Suha.

The scene where she kills the teacher.

***

“This scene will be a bit difficult, won’t it?”

Writer Jang Seo-yoon said, looking at Director Gong Mu-heon from the set.

The scene Haneul would act in, Scene 22. The first time Haneul’s m*rder is shown on-screen.

It’s when the teacher, left alone in the classroom, attempts to have a conversation.

The first scene where she approaches and removes her mask.

“If it’s Haneul, she will manage.”

Gong Mu-heon said without hesitation.

It wasn’t quite confidence but more of a tone close to certainty.

Jang Seo-yoon silently inhaled. The hand holding the script trembled slightly.

“…Still, it’s a complicated performance.”

She continued quietly.

“It needs to convey both emptiness and joy… while inducing fear.”

Her words carried the sincerity of a writer. It wasn’t just a technical issue; it meant the emotional nuance was too delicate.

‘This scene… is too sharp.’

The moment Suha displays ‘intentional malice’ toward the teacher for the first time.

Until now, Suha had been depicted as a strange, innocent, and somewhat alien presence.

Anyone watching could feel it.

That child was not ordinary.

But there hadn’t been a moment where the true identity could be confirmed.

There was only an unpleasant sense of discomfort.

And now this scene. Scene 22.

The moment that discomfort turns into real fear.

Emptiness and joy coexist.

Danger seeps through pure innocence.

Malice unexpectedly bubbles forth.

The audience must be confused.

They should feel scared, yet be unable to look away.

“At that age… is that even a possible emotion?”

Writer Jang Seo-yoon murmured as she briefly looked at Gong Mu-heon.

She liked Haneul’s acting.

Not just in a ‘she’s good’ way, but more in a ‘this child is real’ sort of sentiment.

But.

‘Can she really deliver this at her age?’

That sentiment seemed implausible.

Reciting lines is easy. Following emotions might be doable.

But this scene wasn’t just a simple flow of emotions.

Suha has no emotions in this scene.

To be precise, she recognizes what emotions are, but she doesn’t know what relationship they have with her.

A child who kills, yet feels no sadness, anger, or joy.

Just curious. Like an experiment. Observational.

And that peculiar emotional nuance—

“Action!”

The assistant director’s shout echoed through the set.

Gong Mu-heon didn’t respond.

He quietly walked behind the camera, murmuring to himself.

‘Let’s see, Haneul. Can you really reach this point.’

“Alright, lighting check! Going into the take.”

“Scene 22, take 1.”

The clapperboard clicked.

The set fell silent.

The classroom at kindergarten.

All the lights were off.

From the end of the hallway, the dim yellow glow of a room flickered.

In that light, only the teacher and Suha were present.

“Ready—”

Haneul was already seated.

In front of a small table, her hands neatly clasped.

Very slowly, she tilted her face.

That posture was gentle and beautiful like an angel illustrated in a cathedral…

‘Even scarier.’

Gong Mu-heon’s hand rose.

“……Action.”

The camera began rolling.

“Suha, shall we talk about what happened today with the teacher for a moment?”

The teacher spoke in a gentle tone as usual.

A careful voice, an expression meant to soothe the child.

But the audience knows.

In this scene, no ‘soothing’ will be effective.

“Yes…”

Suha opened her mouth.

And very quietly, she raised her gaze.

The air froze.

That look… was so cold.

So quiet that it felt even more terrifying.

“Today, I cut the eraser well… but the teacher doesn’t quite understand.”

The teacher continued speaking.

“I was going to share it.”

Suha replied.

There was no expression on her lips.

Her lips moved mechanically.

The words were kind and gentle, but there was no emotion behind them.

“If we divide it in half, it can be used the same. There’s no need to take extra, right?”

A slight tension appeared on the teacher’s face.

The audience could feel it too.

That statement was not a plea for ‘understanding’ but was rather a statement of ‘it’s natural, isn’t it?’

And.

A slight tension appeared on the teacher’s face.

Her eyebrows furrowed slightly, and her pupils danced.

That was the kind of expression anyone in the audience could instinctually perceive.

A hesitation born from being unable to speak, mixed with doubt, and a primal fear.

At that moment, the audience also realized.

The teacher was not ‘trying to understand the child.’

She was merely asking to confirm.

“Does it hurt if you cut the eraser?”

That remark was a sliver of hope.

‘Perhaps this child will come to understand the feeling of pain.’

But the response that came back was,

“The eraser isn’t alive.”

Suha answered without a flicker of hesitation.

Her voice was clear.

As if saying a fact. No pretense, no emotion, no uncomfortable eye contact.

Yet, that clarity was so stark that it sent chills down one’s spine.

The teacher’s lips seemed to dry up.

“…Then, Suha.”

She finally spoke, the words she had long kept inside her heart.

No one around could empathize, not even the teacher herself, who had thought it to be ‘nonsense.’

But now, at this moment, silence was no longer an option.

“Soon, do you think your friends will look at the eraser the same way?”

Suha’s head tilted a little.

That reaction was strange. Her expression seemed one of not understanding…

Yet at the same time, she appeared to know something.

The teacher cautiously continued speaking.

“Do you perhaps not know what’s different?”

As soon as those words finished—

“…Ah.”

A small gasp escaped from Suha’s lips.

At that one word, the atmosphere in the set shifted.

The awkward smile that had lingered on her lips moments ago vanished.

What radiated from that innocent child was the perfectly emotionless expression.

That face appeared so calm as it drew nearer.

The camera slowly captured her face.

It wasn’t just silence.

It was a dead stillness.

Little legs that had been swaying stopped. The movement of her fingertips, even her small breaths—everything vanished.

She truly looked like a doll that had ceased to function.

And then.

From within that stillness, Suha opened her mouth, ‘smiling.’

“It’s been found out.”