The Escort Knight Who Is Obsessed by the Villainess Wants to Escape - Chapter 34

“How do you think of me?”

What should Judas answer?

Eliza did not expect any special answer.

Well, it was obvious.

He would say it didn’t matter.

He would say what’s important about it.

Like many people bowing their heads in front of her.

Behind her back, they all gossip about her because she is an illegitimate child.

She asked out of curiosity.

No one brought up the topic of ‘illegitimate child’ in front of Eliza.

Except for those who used the name of Bavel.

It was such a sensitive topic, and it was a taboo to bring it up.

However, Judas spoke it out.

A veiled expression for an illegitimate child.

She knew that Judas had no choice but to say it because she persistently questioned him.

What intrigued Eliza was not the remark itself.

It was Judas’s reaction and expression when he said it.

An uneasy look that he didn’t want to say.

Eliza couldn’t tell what emotional clues those non-verbal expressions held.

So she asked directly.

Even if Judas’s reaction was obvious, it would be a bit interesting, and it was okay if he gave an ordinary answer.

“I have no thoughts at all.”

That’s what Judas said.

Of course.

It was a familiar answer. Like fallen leaves.

The following words were not.

“I think birth does not define existence.”

“……”

Birth.

For herself, a noble, it was a very arrogant remark.

Moreover, Eliza was a Mage.

Even that was an innate birth.

Therefore, everyone looked up to her birth.

To hide their disgust for illegitimate children, they revered her as a child of the Bavel family and a descendant of Mage.

In the end, that too was birth.

However, Judas said it.

That birth does not define existence.

No one had ever said that to her.

No one had ever acknowledged that worn-out ontological truth as a true proposition.

No one.

They all changed the subject or flattered her while hiding their true feelings.

Maybe, Judas was just saying it too.

Because she was an unusual child.

It might just be words to please her.

Eliza looked into Judas’s eyes.

Like a magnet attracting. Like being pulled by gravity. Her gaze was drawn in.

Like the sun and the moon spiraling and embracing each other.

It was an involuntary eye contact.

Eliza didn’t even know what expression she was making.

She looked into his face without realizing her mask was broken.

As if she would fall into those golden eyes.

An unpredictable child.

A being who always acted outside her calculations.

But sometimes, Judas was obvious like a burning log.

For example, when he had to lie.

Not only was he bad at making up falsehoods, but he also couldn’t hide the emotions showing on his face.

No, he didn’t even think of hiding them.

When he lies, it’s all too obvious.

His eyes darting from side to side.

His nose scrunching for no reason.

His lips unable to stay still.

His hands fidgeting.

In other words, when he speaks the truth, it’s clear.

His unwavering, confident gaze.

His firm lips.

He is transparent to the point of being sincere.

“……”

Eliza couldn’t respond.

It was as if she had lost her words.

Being born doesn’t define one’s existence.

Being an illegitimate child is neither her entirety nor her origin.

She had never encountered someone who approached her so honestly, almost childishly so.

She found the situation awkward and difficult, not knowing how to react.

Not as Eliza de Bevel, but as Eliza. As herself. As the person Eliza.

There was no one else who saw her that way, except her mother.

‘Why do you see me like this…’

Only then did Eliza realize that her true self had been revealed and lowered her head.

Fortunately, Judas had turned his head, feeling burdened by her persistent gaze.

He wouldn’t have seen beneath the mask properly.

For some reason, her face felt hot.

As soon as she lifted her eyes, Judas glanced at her face.

She couldn’t meet his gaze.

She didn’t know why.

She just thought she shouldn’t see his gaze right now.

A corner of her heart felt strange.

It was both ticklish and prickly. It seemed like something was about to burst.

Eliza quickly picked up a cat doll to cover her face.

“Don’t look….”

“Excuse me?”

The doll wasn’t enough.

She pulled a red blanket up to her eyes.

“Don’t look….”

It was a voice and reaction she had never made before.

She was always confident in front of others.

Because she was born in a way that couldn’t be confident, she deliberately acted even more so.

But she couldn’t act as usual.

She didn’t know why she was like this.

Judas was equally confused.

‘Why, why is she like this?’

It was a reaction he had never seen from Eliza.

It was like a cat barking ‘woof!’

It was giving him a headache.

She even seemed a bit cute….

No, anyway, since she said not to look, he lowered his eyes.

“How, how arrogant…! A commoner, yet….”

Eliza wanted to take back her words.

Oh my.

She was acting like a spoiled little lady.

She never imagined she would say something like that.

But for some reason, she thought she had to snap back like that to get out of the situation.

It wasn’t entirely ineffective.

Judas, with his head lowered, clicked his tongue inwardly, thinking about how difficult her personality was.

She seemed a bit cute, but this was the result.

By the way, had Eliza ever said something like this before?

In front of the two children, who weren’t looking at each other for different reasons, Lia smiled faintly.

It wasn’t a purely joyful smile.

It was tinged with pity.

She had been watching Eliza for a long time. A very long time.

She knew well how much Eliza tried to act like an adult.

In front of others, she had always made great efforts to hide her emotions.

Emotions clouded rational judgment, and blurred judgment was a weakness in itself.

And she was so skillful at hiding them.

However, Judas just managed to draw out those emotions from Eliza.

As the guise of maturity crumbled, her bare face revealed a simple child.

It was the face Eliza had wanted to hide.

She felt a duty to be more mature and dignified.

Her sole weakness had been exposed.

Yet, she was neither scared nor tense.

This ticklish, warm feeling….

“Young Lady.”

Lia gently handed over a teacup.

It was a portable tea set they carried when going out.

Eliza sipped the lukewarm black tea to calm her pounding heart.

Meanwhile, Lia observed Judas.

The boy who hung his head at Eliza’s sudden command.

Even in front of nobles, even in front of Barak and Narcissus, he stood by Eliza without faltering.

It was something she couldn’t fill.

Rebellious yet surprisingly obedient in front of Eliza.

Perhaps this boy could guide Eliza.

Maybe Barak and Narcissus had noticed.

Since Narcissus was already exiled, she should write to Barak.

Advise him to handle things as gently as possible.

Although his standard of gentleness often diverged greatly from common sense, and he might intensely dislike Judas, so it wasn’t guaranteed.

But, where had she seen this before….

“Ahem!”

Eliza cleared her throat.

She quickly regained her composure.

Exposing a weakness didn’t mean she should continue acting that way.

She put on the usual mask that didn’t betray a single flaw.

Changing the subject was also natural.

“By the way, are you really not planning to hide anymore?”

Eliza smiled as she usually did.

That pure smile always gave Judas a peculiar feeling.

“Um…. What do you mean?”

“Are you going to pretend you don’t know after discussing the ontology of philosophy?”

Judas stupidly opened his mouth and chewed over the words he just heard.

He was confused.

‘Philosophy… what, ontology…?’

Words he didn’t know.

No, he had heard of them.

Philosophy and ontology.

He just knew such words existed in the world.

He was simply speaking his thoughts.

People aren’t determined by how they are born.

“…You really don’t know.”

Eliza read Judas’s reaction.

“If you don’t know, that’s amazing in its own way. To make such claims without any foundational knowledge.”

“…Thank you.”

“Young miss, we should move now. Today’s event wasn’t on the schedule….”

“Oh, right. Today was fun. Judas.”

Eliza stood up.

Lia immediately adjusted Eliza’s attire.

“And you’ve passed the test.”

“…W-what?”

“I’ll inform Gawain.”

“W-wait a moment.”

Judas hastily called out to the departing Eliza.

“Why… No. I appreciate your kindness, miss, but I must decline.”

Eliza tilted her head from side to side as if it were a strange story.

“Why?”

Eliza’s commands are always absolute. Doubts or refusals are out of the question. Nevertheless, Eliza asked Judas for a reason.

“I have clearly broken the rules. Regardless of the reason, I was blinded by my personal feelings and failed to do what I was supposed to do. For someone like me to pass the test….”

Judas looked straight at Eliza. Golden eyes. His earnest gaze conveyed his words.

“It is not right.”

It is neither right nor just. Judas did not want to run away from his responsibilities. Eliza saw through his true intentions.

How intriguing.

People tend to become more boring the more you get to know them.

Human layers are neither many nor colorful.

However, this Judas boy becomes more fascinating and interesting the more you get to know him.

He is willing to take responsibility even if it brings him disadvantages. It is impressive.

“Congratulations.”

“Pardon?”

“I am considering persuading you. You are the first person I have thought that about.”

“…….”

“Judas.”

“Yes, miss.”

“What is the most important value for a Escort knight?”

It is something taught even in the training center.

“The life of the one they must protect.”

“Correct. And there is one more.”

“One more…?”

“The master’s honor.”

In aristocratic society, honor and reputation are equal to life and more valuable than money. Although Eliza finds it troublesome.

“How many knights staying in my estate or candidates in the training center do you think would voluntarily stand up for my honor? They might laugh at the idea of honor for a illegitimate child.”

“…….”

“You are different. When my honor was damaged, you were angry as if it were your own matter. You fought against them regardless of rules and purposes. Is there a better role model for a bodyguard knight than this?”

Judas recalled that early morning.

The usual gossip.

The moment he got angry was definitely when Eliza was mentioned.

Was it really because he thought of Eliza’s matter as his own?

Judas did not want to get close to Eliza.

He was afraid.

He would struggle to avoid or overcome a tragedy.

However, that is only a possibility.

A very low possibility.

But part of him also felt pity for her.

He was somewhat grateful for how she had acknowledged and protected him so far.

But as long as a tragedy exists, getting close to Eliza is dangerous.

Moreover, he had experienced her violence far too many times.

Even though it was a different time and appearance, those countless indirect experiences remained in his memory as if he had experienced them directly.

Eliza took a step closer to him.

Her round, childlike face with red eyes looked up at him, a mask making it difficult to distinguish between truth and falsehood.

“This isn’t unfair. More than anyone else, you’ve proven yourself worthy as my Escort Knight.”

Eliza grinned.

“So, did my persuasion work?”

Judas had to admit.

Her words were perfect.

There was no flaw in her logic.

“Yes, it’s an honor.”

“I’ll continue to rely on you. Until the day you become my Escort Knight.”

“…”

Judas couldn’t reply.

He just bowed his head and bid her farewell.

***

A cage made of tight mesh.

Inside, there’s a garden.

The colorless garden remained cold regardless of the season.

The only distinction was in shades of dull colors.

There were no trees, no grass, no flowers.

Once, it was a garden overflowing with life, but not anymore.

Only the name remained.

Sometimes it rains, but the sun never rises in this world outside the garden, leaving emptiness.

A cage echoing in the void. Such a life.

A garden within a girl’s heart.

The girl was crouched in the middle of the garden.

It was always like this.

Piles of fallen leaves surrounded her.

Occasionally, leaves fell from outside the cage.

Each time a leaf fell, the girl would tidy it up.

She would push them away or bury them with her small hands.

But she couldn’t throw them away outside the cage.

It was impossible to discard them.

They returned as if bound to this cage.

So, cleaning wasn’t really cleaning.

The accumulated leaves somehow stayed there in her heart. They dried up, but they didn’t disappear.