[TS] The Return of The Gamer - Chapter 44

“Yujin. So, it's not a bad thing. Listen to your mother carefully.”

“No, just the conclusion. What did I do?”

Mother hesitated for a moment, then spoke as if vomiting it out.

“…You got your period.”

“Huh.”

I hadn't misheard.

So, I really…….

……I did it.

Only then did I realize that I was wearing something like a diaper under my pajamas.

…Probably a sanitary pad.

I'm amazing for noticing this only now.

“I… what happened to me?”

Of course, it would be a lie to say I hadn't thought about it at all…….

But still, isn't this too much?

No matter how much my appearance has changed,

I… am a man, right?

“Mom?”

“Ah, yes?”

“I asked you what happened to me?”

“…Really?”

I felt even more discouraged, not knowing that even my mother didn't know anything.

Well… she couldn't possibly know what was happening to me right now.

“…….”

My head is spinning.

No, does this even make sense?

I know my appearance has changed to that of a woman.

I became a woman, and thanks to that, I was able to start a new life.

Moreover, since I was also beautiful, it would be a lie to say I didn't like it.

But this… this is something…….

“…I don’t feel like myself.”

I got up and slowly looked at the mirror hanging on the wall.

The image reflected in the mirror is quite unfamiliar.

My silver hair,

My reddish-brown eyes, which look intense due to the mixture of red,

My still unbelievably slender body,

It must be mine, but it doesn't feel like it.

I thought I had gotten used to it enough…….

It seems I still need a little more time.

“Yujin?”

Worry is dripping from my mother's voice.

Even for her, I have to pretend to be cheerful.

But…….

Not everything in the world goes as planned.

“…I'll be alone for a moment.”

I don't know exactly what's happening to me right now.

So I also know that I need the help of others.

Still, even so, for some reason, I wanted to be alone right now.

I needed time right now.

Time to sort all of this out alone.

“Oh… Okay. I know. Call me if something happens, okay?”

“Okay.”

Mother left the room with cautious steps.

Clunk-

The door closed, and finally, completely alone, I quietly stared into the darkness.

Darkness also looks at me.

Feeling a sense of dizziness as if I were about to be swallowed by that abyss, I huddled under the covers.

“…….”

I know.

It's just a physiological phenomenon.

Maybe, I might have thought it would happen someday.

Nevertheless, I'm afraid.

I'm afraid that I'm becoming something other than myself, even though I am me.

I'm also afraid that new possibilities that I've never had before are emerging.

Will I still be me?

If you take apart the parts of the ship of Theseus that were originally the ship of Theseus and fill in the spaces with new wooden planks, is it still the ship of Theseus?

If the ship of Theseus is correct, do the wooden planks that make up the ship have no meaning?

Then, what defines the ship of Theseus? Is it the ship that Theseus sailed on, or is it the wooden planks that make up the ship?

What defines me?

Even if the parts that used to be me disappear one by one, and eventually completely disappear,

Am I… still me?

I don't know.

I have no idea.

That's why I'm afraid.

I'm afraid because I can't draw any conclusions.

“…….”

I know it in my head.

This is just a brief sadness caused by hormonal changes.

Just a little bit, if a little more time passes, I'll be able to shake it off.

So,

Can I cry a little now?

“…….”

I don't cry out loud.

I don't want anyone to see my unsightly appearance.

I spend quiet time, holding my breath quietly, as if I don't exist here.

“…….”

A strange time passes, not knowing whether I'm crying or laughing.

Perhaps because I've been in the dark for a long time, my sense of hearing becomes sensitive.

-Wiiiiing.

A strange sound.

It's not a hallucination.

It was a sound that was all too familiar.

‘Ah.’

At the end of my gaze, I see the computer case.

A small light is on.

I've been hearing a strange noise since earlier, so the computer was still on.

The custom water-cooling system I commissioned for experts, so the case noise wasn't that loud, but it didn't disappear entirely.

‘Let's turn off the computer first.’

If I hadn't noticed it was on, I wouldn't have bothered, but now that I've seen it, I'm a bit concerned.

Funnily enough, I felt a little better in front of the computer.

I don't know why, but at the same time, I understand, and I feel like I'm an unavoidable game addict.

‘Huh?’

As I moved the mouse to turn off the computer, I couldn't hide my surprise at the screen that turned on.

[Prisoner : 4390uwpt6yj 2oi-5m=] w]

[qq7785dd55 : hey]

[qq7785dd55 : you okay?]

I don't remember typing those chats, so it seems that the keyboard was pressed when I collapsed.

And… what are those chats?

[qq7785dd55 : prisoner?]

[qq7785dd55 : hey?]

[qq7785dd55 : where are you]

[qq7785dd55 : i'll go]

Strange chats.

Judging by the content, it seems like they know I collapsed, doesn't it?

‘…Well.’

GRS is the team I directly refused the scouting offer.

In the process, I made an excuse that I was terminally ill, so in this situation, it was only natural for them to worry.

‘Still, I don't think there's a need to go that far… well, he's just a good person.’

As if to support that fact, qq7785dd55 was still not leaving the game results screen.

Even though a considerable amount of time must have passed.

‘I guess it's okay to say this much.’

It wasn't polite to just leave without saying anything, so I typed a chat after a long silence.

[Prisoner : i'm fine]

I'm fine.

So don't worry too much.

Really.

[Prisoner : bye]

I just need time.

Just a little bit.

Just a little bit…….

* * *

Prisoner disappeared.

It was four days after Ryu Jinhyuk realized that Prisoner had achieved 1800 points for the first time in the history of Legend of League.

When Prisoner first achieved 1800 points, Ryu Jinhyuk couldn't even feel jealousy, even though someone else had broken the solo queue record he had set.

Pure admiration and awe.

Besides that, in that strange feeling that couldn't be put into words, the feeling that Ryu Jinhyuk felt most strongly was, after all, regret.

‘…If only I could have played a game with Prisoner on a big stage, even once.’

But it's a long shot.

It's a wish that can never come true, and it's just a dream he once had.

In that situation, it was a while before Ryu Jinhyuk felt something was strange.

‘…I haven’t seen him lately.’

Prisoner didn't log in today either.

It's been four days.

As far as Ryu Jinhyuk knew, Prisoner had never been absent from Legend of League for three consecutive days.

Of course, there were many days when he didn't play the game itself, but he accessed the client almost every day.

‘What is it? Could something have happened?’

He even went into the voice chat program in case there was another game, but there was no record of Prisoner logging in recently.

Feeling frustrated, Ryu Jinhyuk accessed a community he didn't often visit.

He was thinking if there was any information about Prisoner.

In the community, the fact that Prisoner had reached 1800 points seemed to be a considerable topic.

-Breaking News) Prisoner reaches 1800 points

-He reached 1800, haha, is he a god?

-Prisoner board is here Prisoner board is here Prisoner board is here...

-List of pros who got beat by Prisoner.txt

-Analysis) Summary of solo queue head-to-head records between past Red Cup junglers and Prisoner

-Vote) Yoonki vs. Prisoner (3rd)

-Prisoner 1800 point decisive battle.GIF

Among them, the post that caught Ryu Jinhyuk's attention was the post 'Prisoner 1800 point decisive battle.GIF'.

The post consisted of dozens of GIF files, so-called animated GIFs.

‘…Hmm?’

While looking at the animated GIFs, Ryu Jinhyuk felt something was off.

‘I have to check it out.’

And to directly confirm the sense of incongruity he felt, he downloaded the replay of Prisoner's last game.

[Execute]

After executing the replay, Ryu Jinhyuk was able to find out what the incongruity he felt was.

‘What?’

It's strange.

The Prisoner in the replay was so different from usual.

No, to compare, he couldn't even compare to the old Prisoner, let alone the recent Prisoner whose form was going crazy.

‘…Was his condition not good?’

In various thoughts, Ryu Jinhyuk watched Prisoner's replay as if possessed.

As if he didn't want to miss a single piece of his play, without skipping or fast-forwarding.

‘Something… is not right.’

Ryu Jinhyuk had been playing games with Prisoner for a very long time.

That's why he knew.

That Prisoner's current state was definitely not normal.

‘Could it be…….’

Prisoner is already rumored to have a rare disease.

Ryu Jinhyuk knew very well what it meant if his condition was not good.

‘No.’

Ryu Jinhyuk still has a heavy burden in his heart about Prisoner.

Because of his arrogance, the secret that Prisoner had been hiding until now was revealed to the world.

But what if he might not even have a chance to apologize to Prisoner?

That can't happen.

Still, there are still so many things to say to Prisoner.

“Prisoner…….”

Where on earth are you.