VTuber RP Is Not a Concept - Chapter 71

I still don’t know what an open emotion is, but it was clear that I shouldn’t sing like before.

I was told that ‘the sadness is too strong’, so this time I have to reduce it.

Then how much should I reduce?

It wouldn’t be right to completely remove it, I guess I should leave just the right amount of sadness.

That thought lingered in my mind.

Before I made a sound, I took a short breath.

I inhaled, but the air didn’t go down as deeply as expected.

I moistened my lips.

A slightly dry feeling.

It’s not a big deal.

Aaaa—

The sound came out.

Keeping the thought of controlling sadness, I continued humming.

I follow the melody.

Gauging the degree of emotion I sang until just now, I finely adjust the emotion that is being conveyed.

Controlling my voice so that it doesn’t cross the line, I pass one section, one section.

After the last humming, I naturally put down the microphone.

The producer opened his mouth a beat late.

Hmm. It’s less than before… But, maybe it’s become too less.

I looked at the producer silently.

It was too deep before, but this time… You seem to have been too conscious of controlling it.

It was the weakest emotion I’ve ever heard in your songs, Leah.

I’ll sing it again.

Third attempt.

I organize my thoughts.

The first attempt, where I recalled experiences and deliberately amplified emotions.

The second attempt, where I focused on controlling emotions for the first time.

Both were methods I didn’t usually use.

How was it before?

I’ve never thought about dealing with emotions before starting to sing.

When I just sang, emotions naturally seeped out.

Relaxing my whole body, not even trying to intentionally touch emotions.

I just sang without any thought.

Riding the flow of time, the sound from my mouth spread.

The space where the last humming disappeared.

MThe first to react was the session engineer.

“Wow…”

He took his hands off the monitor and leaned back, as if leaning on his shoulder.

I think we can just use this as it is.

He checked the monitor one more time and turned his gaze to me.

It’s perfect.

The music is excellent, and the emotional delivery is also outstanding.

Is there anything more to fix at this level?

I inadvertently looked at the producer.

It was his turn to speak.

…It’s really amazing

He also looked up at me.

I think… this can be considered emotionally complete.

The session engineer chimed in.

Yes. The emotion naturally interlocks with the flow of the song.

From the listener’s perspective, it can give an overwhelming impression.

It was praise.

And at this level, it also meant that there was no need to touch it anymore.

I kept looking at the producer.

He’s praising, but he was still tapping his fingertips on the desk.

It seems like you have something more you want to say?

The producer’s fingertips twitched once again.

…It might be a minor part.

His tone was cautious.

There’s still a feeling that a certain emotion is prominent.

It’s not that the emotion is excessive, and it’s generally well done.

A certain emotion is prominent…

Does that mean I failed to capture an open emotion?

It might be difficult to say that the concept of ‘open emotion’ itself has been fully implemented.

“But…”

He briefly turned his gaze to the monitor, then looked at me again.

Honestly, this might be my greed.

It’s already good enough, but I wonder if I can refine this more and make it perfect.

The session engineer laughed in disbelief.

What? What’s lacking in this?

The producer hesitated for a moment, then finally nodded and said.

Okay. Let’s go with this.

It was an atmosphere where the recording was wrapping up.

Is it going to end like this?

I just sang as usual.

I didn’t inflate the emotions like in the first attempt.

I didn’t try to control it like in the second attempt.

I just did what I’ve always done.

“But this is the ‘answer’?”

Then, did I even need to go through this process?

Then, what does ‘open emotion’ or whatever mean?

I was worrying like that, but I also thought that maybe it wasn’t that important.

The problem is, if this moment passes, I might never have a chance to think about this again.

If I end it like this, I don’t have to think about this anymore.

If I let it go, I can just believe that what I’ve always done was the answer.

Then, there’s no need to think further.

“But—”

I don’t want to feel like I’m running away.

Today, for the first time, I sang while being conscious of emotions.

And in the process, I felt something.

There was something, but I couldn’t explain what it was yet.

A sensation that seems to be caught at my fingertips, but then disappears.

Just singing without thinking was not enough.

I want to try singing one more time.

The producer’s eyes widened.

You don’t have to go that far.

It was a word of consideration on the surface, but I immediately knew that those words were not sincere.

It was revealed in his expression.

I’m not saying I’ll do it for you.

I said calmly.

I want to do it.

The producer’s hand, which had been tapping the desk, stopped.

The session engineer blinked and said.

What? Are you really going to sing again?

I nodded lightly.

“Why?”

He looked at me with a look of pure curiosity.

I looked at the microphone.

I can’t explain it by opening my mouth and speaking, but if I just let this sensation go, I felt like I would never be able to catch it again.

Just because.

I answered briefly.

The engineer still looked like he didn’t understand, but the producer looked at my face silently, then let out a small breath.

…I’ll reset the settings.

Like that,

The 4th attempt began.

I closed my eyes.

This time, I just decided to really find out what an open emotion is.

I always had to control my emotions.

Showing emotions on the battlefield blurred judgment and lowered the chances of survival.

I was a half-breed.

So I tried to act more like an elf than a human.

Elves don’t show emotions easily.

They maintain composure and govern their emotions themselves instead of expressing them outwardly.

I survived the war and lived maintaining an elf-like attitude.

That was the way that defined me.

Until now, there was only one way I dealt with emotions.

Controlling it.

But, it wasn’t always like that.

I was free to express emotions when I sang.

When I laughed and chatted with the members too.
And, when I broadcast.

Only at those moments did I not suppress or control my emotions.

And yet, people accepted my emotions naturally.

Without me knowing, I was changing little by little.

I thought of the people I lost in the war.

I thought I should always be sad when I think of them.

Because separation is sadness.

But as time passed, the moments I spent with them began to come to mind.

Memories not of the end, but of before.

The times I spent with them, the conversations I shared, can those memories be defined only by sadness?

Until now, I understood emotions as fixed.

I thought I should be sad when I separate, and a good song is one that accurately conveys that emotion.

But emotion does not stay in one state.

When sadness arises, warmth can also accompany it.

Those emotions can flow naturally in memory.

The moment I understood that emotions can change,

I thought that was the same as letting emotions flow.

Sadness passes, warmth permeates, and that leads to a faint longing.

If I could sing as that emotion flows?

Wouldn’t that be an ‘open emotion’?

I inhaled.

Aaaa—

The sound spread.

At that moment.

For the first time, I felt like I knew what it meant to ‘let emotions flow’.

※※※

I turned on the broadcast and for a while, I silently watched the chat window.

[– Did the owner go somewhere??]
[– Hello?]
[– It’s not even a waiting screen.]
[– Did she go to the bathroom?]
[– The avatar’s eyes are blinking.]
[– She’s just not talking ㅋㅋ]
[– Are you doing silent practice?]
[– Is this a new gag?]

『Anonymous donated 1,000 jellies!』
『Did the title mean you wanted to test our patience?』

『Peeping Spectator donated 1,000 jellies!』
『L e a h i s a f o o l』

『TopOfTheClassKaren donated 1,000 jellies!』
『I saw Leah doing a good deed yesterday… She helped an old woman push a cart up a hill.』

[– Respecting the elderly is Leah-level.]
[– She shortened her travel time.]
[– Where is she traveling to…]
[– You’re still not reacting?]

『Agaria donated 10,000 jellies!』
『Reaction ㄱ』

Spirit shot to Agaria!

Hello, everyone.

May the blessings of the forest be with you.

[– What is this money-grubber ㅋㅋㅋ]
[– Was it a collection act?]
[– She’s ripping off money in a novel way…]
[– Is it right that the reaction comes before the broadcast greeting ㅋㅋㅋ]

It’s a misunderstanding.

I was just testing when I feel like talking.

[– ?]
[– So, when a 10,000 won donation comes in, you suddenly feel like talking…]

That’s right.

I feel strange.

[– ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ]
[– Leah, your shamelessness is unusual today?]

And, I haven’t decided anything about what to do on the broadcast.

[– Why are you so confident?]
[– Announcing freeloading as soon as it starts!]
[– Did you prepare a lot for yesterday’s broadcast to balance it out? ㅋㅋ]

“I have a realization I gained today.”

So I’m just going to go with the flow of the broadcast.

Don’t worry.

As it says in the title, I’m only testing it once.

[– If you think you realized something wrong, upvote ㅋㅋ]